Martial King’s Retired Life – Vol. 2 Ch. 40



Little Ming Ming Is In Trouble

Left punch! Punch into a claw!

Right kick! A palm strike was hidden behind the kick!

Twin Dragons to the Sea, Lone Cloud Comes Out from Behind the Mountain Peak, Spinning Flower Feints a Strike, Gone With the Wind After the Snow.

As soon as I teased her, a gust of wind came at me like it was an attack.

I quickly evaded. Well, that’s not quite correct. Since I can’t use skills that are too high-level, I didn’t evade entirely and took a hit. But since it didn’t hurt, it didn’t matter.

General Manager Bai quickly leapt at me like a Persian cat. When she noticed that I wasn’t hurt, she got even more infuriated, and switched techniques.

Low blow kick! Monkey Steals the Peach! Crescent Kick! Monster Plucks the Peach!

Hey, hey, hey, aren’t you a bit too focused on hitting that one particular spot?!!

I can’t withstand hits there.

I’m fine with General Manager Bai hitting me anywhere on my body where I have my Big Dipper Qi which acts as a shield for my body. But if General Manager Bai’s scallion-like fingers hit me and it doesn’t hurt, her attack would be “service”… hehehe. We’re in public, so let’s keep a low profile. Amitabha, a relic that is discoloured is a colourless colour. To have no colour is to have colour, and to have colour is to have no colour.*

I immediately dodged to avoid committing any indecencies and angrily exclaimed: “If you don’t agree to it, then forget it. What are you hitting me for?!”

“You continue to humiliate me! If I can’t kill you today, I’ll kill myself on the spot!”

You’re going to kill yourself over an insignificant matter like this? This girl’s temper is… what am I saying? She’s a eunuch.

“Are you still holding a grudge over what happened that day? I really didn’t mean it. We’re both men.”

*Ptuuu*

“Who are you calling a stinking man like you?!”

“I *&%@#*@……”

My head! Could you please stop making me run into these girls I don’t know how to deal with… oh wait, men, wait, no…… My ability to differentiate between men and women seems to have been affected after meeting Su Xiao and General Manager Bai.

“You’re half-a-man. If you can pick it up, you can put it down. I’ll apologise, and then let’s end it here.”

Bai Ling’s skin was white to begin with. Now that she moved, I could see her flushed cheeks. She looked at me with her gentle and beautiful eyes that looked like they were going to tear up and said: “You damn thug! Let me cut your head off and I’ll return it to you after then!”

I angrily replied: “What’s the point of returning it to me if you’ve cut it off?”

Bai Ling puffed her chest out and said: “Then what use is your apology?”

Fuck! Why is it that the crazy logic of beautiful girls always leaves me unable to say anything back?

General Manager Bai looked around at our surroundings and noticed that a number of people were already looking at us so she couldn’t attack, thereby leaving her with no choice but to give up.

However, she was still enraged as she said: “You made me feel rotten to the core by what you did that day! If you dare to mention how you forced… on me, I absolutely won’t forgive you.”

Hey, sis! Why would you finish your sentence there?! Don’t cut your sentence off there! It’s creating ambiguity!!

“I was just joking about that just now.” I quickly ended the ruckus, laughed out loud and said: “I was just trying to ease the atmosphere.”

Hearing that, Bai Ling finally relaxed her expression.

While I say I was joking, I have no idea what was up with me just now. When I realised it, the words had already escaped my mouth. Bai Ling seems to have a strange special trait which makes me helplessly want to get close to her. It’s like having an invisible feather brush against you, teasing you and stirring up your lust. While what just happened wasn’t as intense as last time, it still felt very close to when I forced a kiss on her that time at the small Southern gate.

“If I win, you need to forgive me for what I did that day…..”

“You still on about that?!”

Bai Ling glared at me violently. But since her face was so incredibly beautiful, I felt that she was cute when she narrowed her eyes. She wasn’t intimidating in the least.

I acted like a harmless kitten. I tried my best to give a friendly smile and said: “I’ll stop. I’ll stop. Whatever the case, if you win, I’ll let you decide what to do with me. But if I win, we’ll erase the past and never pursue it again. What do you think?”

This was Bai Ling’s suggestion to start with, so she shouldn’t have any objections.

But she hesitated for a moment. She scrunched up her beautiful nose quickly, scoffed at me and then said: “Don’t think that I don’t know that you’re going easy on me. It’s not that you can’t tell who’s stronger between Tang Ye and Tie Hanyi. You’re just trying to make it up to me, am I right?”

My, this lass does still have a semblance of a conscience. She knows I’m going easy on her.

This pretty girl… I mean eunuch is also very…….

Bai Ling then suddenly grinned: “You thought I’d be moved? Get lost! Let’s bet then! If I win, I’ll have you go to the castration room and become a eunuch. I’ll have you wander in limbo between life and death, suffering in utter misery!”

…….

“Tang Ye!!” I shouted as loud as I could: “Win, minor lord!! You hear?!”

Tang Ye who flew up to the stage with beautiful posture nearly fell because I called out to him. He frowned. He stared at me silently for a while like somebody pissed in his tea and then let out a big sigh. He then seemed to realise the situation he was in so he slowly turned his head around.

He then turned to face the extraordinary man and gave him a nod. Needless to say, said person was Tang Ye’s opponent for today. He was the uncrowned king of Liu Shan’s Elite Rankings. He was the legend who’s a Jia-rank warrior that doesn’t want to become part of the seventeen hidden dragons, Iron Blood Hanyi, Tie Hanyi.

The first time Tie Hanyi met Tang Ye was a month ago. That was when Tang Ye was challenging martial arts schools all over the capital. Tie Hanyi already looked very eager to fight with the young man back then. However, Tang Ye had just finished fighting over ten people alone so he didn’t want to give him a handicap, thereby putting it aside. He never expected he’d get his wish today in the ring of the imperial martial arts tournament.

Tie Han Yi smiled and asked: “You are the minor lord of Liu Shan Men?”

Tang Ye kept silent for a while before shaking his head: “You are giving me too much credit, Brother Tie.”

Tie Hanyi replied: “There is no need to be modest. If you can win me by half-a-technique today, your title as the minor lord will not be in vain!”

Tang Ye’s violent expression looked like he was saying “You motherfucker, say that name again and I’ll hack you to death”……. Consequently, I couldn’t help but wonder if I should not have called out to him like that before.

The atmosphere between the two of them got intense quickly. Both of them entered their battle status, while their qi energy duked it out in the very intense atmosphere, so intense you would think sparks were going to fly the moment they clashed.

The eunuch referee noticed the two of them preparing, so he didn’t delay and loudly announced: “This battle will be, the emperor’s entourage’s Tie Hanyi versus-”

Just at that moment, Tie Hanyi and Tang Ye loaded up and readied their fists. They gripped the floor tightly with their feet like they had claws on their feet, just waiting for the referee to call start so that they could quickly charge at each other.

They only heard the eunuch refereeing continue: “Versus… umm, versus… Liu Shan Men’s minor lord!”

Tang Ye slipped and his other foot found itself misplaced. He had already moulded his energy, and because he couldn’t bring it under control as a result of the referee’s announcement, he fell towards the boundary of the ring like a bird that got scared off, drawing a beautiful line in the air…..

General Manager Bai’s cold yet beautiful voice rang out in my ear: “Hmph, looks like somebody has to come with me now. I wonder if Eunuch Zhao who performs the baptisms is around. My, what should I call you? Little Ming? Little Fei? Little Zhen? How about, Little Mingming?”

Who said I want to be called LIttle Mingming?!

Tang Ye! Tang Yanling! Minor lord!! Get your fucking ass back in there for me!! I don’t want to be a eunuch! I don’t want to be without my little Mingming! I don’t want to lose my little Mingming!!

Glossary

*He’s just mumbling gibberish. In Chinese comedy, it’s common to recite scriptures to calm down that’s all.

Just in case you weren’t aware, his little Mingming is a reference to his ding-dong.

 

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