Let Me Kiss You If I Win. It’s A Fair Deal.
I immediately raised my hands to indicate that I was innocent: “I didn’t touch him. He fell down on his own.”
But everybody below the ring started gossiping among themselves.
“He really is a plague!”
“You have no choice but to believe it……”
“Eeek! Who said he’s on par with Qilin God of Battle? That guy is much more sinister than the Qilin God of Battle!!”
One of the warriors from the emperor’s security detail came over and carried Qi Feilong away. As he walked away, he pouted: “He killed another. Damn!”
Fuck you! Who killed him? Didn’t you all know that he was wounded by the Black Winds Thirteen Wings?!
As he was being carried away, Qi Feilong continued muttering: “I… I will definitely win this round. I want to let his majesty see my skills!”
Keep moving around and you will indeed get to show his majesty your skills, except that it’ll be his majesty, the king of hell.
Sigh. There’s nothing I can do. I’ll just have to accept the outcome of the bout.
No wonder Boss Shen virtually didn’t say anything about our performance at the imperial martial arts tournament. Now that I think about it, there’s nothing to complain about regarding our performance this time. Tang Ye fought his way to the semi-finals with his skills. Su Xiao managed to last thanks to his popularity as well as his opponents not willing to hurt his beautiful face. The other constables were all eliminated.
But all in all, for us to have three members remaining at this point, as long as one of us makes it to the finals, we’ll be able to prove that while Liu Shan Men isn’t what it used to be, we are no less than the other two offices in terms of cultivating talent.
I want to cry but no tears come out!
I suddenly came to a realisation. Am I the first one to make it to the finals?! This wasn’t what I was promised!
The eunuch who refereed asked me to leave the ring first while waiting for them to examine Qi Feilong’s condition. There’s nothing to examine. His leg is already broken. None of you can immediately heal him.
I got off the ring and tried my best to go somewhere with few people. But honestly speaking, there was no need for me to. Wherever I went, people would flee like I was a cat entering their rodent den……
“What happened here? Why is there such a fuss?”
An individual with a fragrance and dressed in elegant clothing came. She had beautiful, heartstring-plucking-big watery eyes on her delicate and charming palm-sized face. Her fluffy looking face had a pretty aura that seemed to be able to penetrate into one’s heart. She was tall and she had long slender legs. She held her head up high and had an erect posture. It didn’t look like her feet moved when she walked. It was like she was gliding. Her strides were harmonious and elegant.
When I saw her, I couldn’t help but reveal a bitter smile.
“General Manager Bai……”
The individual who came was none other than the one who had a quick tryst with me, Eunuch Bai…….
“Ming Feizhen? So everybody is rowdy because of you, you punk.” General Manager Bai jabbed at me, and then in a disdainful tone said: “Everybody else from Liu Shan Men can be said to have fulfilled their responsibilities dutifully. Why is it just you that’s greedy and lazy? You caused another problem, didn’t you? Men, beat him with a pole.”
Eunuch Bai has always been picking on me ever since our small misunderstanding last time. But since I guard the small southern gate while she overwatched the vicinity around the ring, we didn’t have a chance to run into each other. But every time we run into each other, she always finds an opportunity to screw me over to vent for what happened that day.
I replied in a loud voice: “It’s my turn to fight. I didn’t leave my post without permission.”
“You’re up? Why aren’t you competing then?”
Whether intentional or unintentional, Bai Lian glared at me. She then revealed a disappointed look as if it upset her because I didn’t feel hurt by her words.
Just as I was about to say something, a eunuch from behind suddenly announced: “The contestant has passed away and cannot compete. This match is won without fighting. Winner, Ming Feizhen!”
Bai Lian pulled her beautiful eyebrows together and slightly opened her mouth with red lips that look like she had smothered honey on them. She paused for a moment before saying: “You really are… a plague.”
What’s it got to do with me?!
What is the League of Assassins doing? They’re so toxic I’ve been winning without fighting these past few days. If only they’d give Song Ou this toxin, so that he could just hate Long Zaitian to death and save everybody the headaches.
While Bai Lian is cold towards everyone, she’s actually very good at ridiculing people.
“Then how come others’ opponents are fine? Are you telling me it’s not because you’re cursed?”
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s all my fault. Men don’t fight with women, or eunuchs.
I turned around and walked off. I opened a sheet of paper. On it was the names of the people up next as well as the order.
Let’s see…… The next bout is……
My nose suddenly got filled with a pure flower scent, refreshing me. The fragrant was elegant, but at the same time, sweet and strong like green bamboo. It was cold and elegant, but at the same time intoxicating. The scent her body carried was just like her. It carried a special trait which made one strangely attracted to her.
No, no, no, it’s not “her”! A eunuch is not a “her”!
I forcefully suppressed the strange feeling in my heart. I looked sideways and just as I thought, Bai Lian was leaning over towards me, not noticing how close she was to me.
“Who’s up next……? Hey, let me see.”
Bai Lian wanted to see the match schedule in my hand. However, I turned around instead, not letting her see.
“General Manger Bai, I personally wrote this schedule. Didn’t you say I’m a plague?”
“I’m under orders to maintain safety around the area, so I want to know the program. Hey! Let me see!”
I won’t let Bai Lian see it no matter what she says. I’m a head taller than Bai Lian, so she won’t be able to reach it if I hold it up high.
“Beg me!” I chuckled coldly: “Didn’t you say I’m a plague and that I’m cursed?”
Bai Lian looked at me silently and then calmly said: “I can send you to guard the restrooms.”
“Huh? The what-room?”
“Here you go.”
I respectfully handed it to her. Even though today is the last day of the imperial martial arts tournament and I know that we won’t have to guard the imperial city for much longer, I won’t guard the toilets for a single day!
Bai Lian looked at my characters. She then raised an eyebrow: “I never thought you could write like Yan Zhenqing. I guess isn’t true when they say ‘one’s (Chinese) characters are a good reflection of them as a person’.”
Piss off. No one asked for your opinion!
“It’s Liu Shan Men’s Tang Ye and… the emperor’s security detail’s Tie Hanyi.”
Bai Lian raised her head and looked over to see Tang Ye and Tie Hanyi both preparing. They were already standing close to the ring. She gazed at them with her beautiful eyes for a while. She then gently shook her head: “What a pity. A great young talented man will be destroyed here today.”
I was puzzled: “What do you mean, General Manager Bai?”
Bai Lian returned the program schedule to me, shrugged and said: “Long Zaitian and Tie Hanyi fought three years ago. In the end, Tie Hanyi won by one move. Tie Hanyi is skilled enough to be part of the Seventeen Hidden Dragons.”
I widened my eyes with surprise, looked at Tie Hanyi and asked in a surprised tone: “That happened?”
“Do you know why Tie Hanyi is still only a Jia-rank warrior? That’s because he chooses to remain there. Tie Hanyi has no interest in being promoted, but he’s very loyal to the emperor’s security detail and the imperial court. He’s acting as a gate guardian by holding the first Jia-rank seat, with the goal of selecting people he’s happy with.”
“Isn’t that contradictory?” In a questioning tone, I asked: “If Tie Hanyi has the skills to be in the Seventeen Hidden Dragons, those who can’t beat him won’t be able to join the seventeen hidden dragon ranks. If that’s how it is, then everybody in the Seventeen Hidden Dragons should be stronger than him. If the seventeen aren’t stronger than him, how can we say that he’s skilled?”
“That’s because he deliberately leaves an opening for the person he chooses at the last minute. Sometimes, he also recommends those with skills close to his level for promotion.” Bai Lian frankly said: “Long Zaitian is an example. He only lost to Tie Hanyi by one move. His skills are truthfully close to Tie Hanyi’s level, which is why Tie Hanyi recommended his promotion back then. What do you think the chances of Tang Ye winning are?”
“So what?” In a dissatisfied tone, I said: “General Manager Bai, are you saying that the next lesser lord of Liu Shan Men will lose to that big idiot?”
“That’s the reality of it.”
General Manager Bai gave me a look of dissatisfaction as if she knew the outcome long ago. She stroked her long neck, revealing her snow-white skin which had a tinge of rogue, and her provocative blinking eyes. Her large eyes were evidently naughty and cute.
“How about we make a bet?”
“What are we betting on?”
“I’m betting that Tie Hanyi will win this bout.”
“It goes without saying that I’m betting on Tang Ye.”
“Good.” Bai Lian wore an expression of confidence like she knew what the result would be. She chuckled and said: “If I win, I want you to do something for me.” Her laugh carried a savage and sly tone almost as if she was saying “If you lose, I’m going to send you off to become a eunuch”.
I swiftly replied: “Alright. But if I win, shouldn’t you do something for me as well?”
General Manager Bai asked in a curious tone: “What do you want me to do?”
“Hmm……” I subconsciously looked at General Manager Bai’s small pink pouty mouth. The image of me forcefully acting indecently towards her resurfaced, heating my body up, and so without realising, I smiled and asked: “Let me kiss you again?”
Yan Zhenqin was a leading Chinese calligrapher and a loyal governor of the Tang Dynasty. His artistic accomplishment in Chinese calligraphy is equal to that of the greatest master calligraphers of history.
*For non-wuxia readers, just to clarify, a move refers to a set of techniques, think combinations. To further clarify, a move could be “Jab, jab, cross, snap kick”, where the jab, cross and snap kick are techniques.
In wuxia fights, when the fighters duke it out, what they are exchanging is moves. A style is consisted for moves strung together, which we now know as Taolu (wushu), forms (Muay Thai and many other styles), patterns (TKD), or Kata (Karate). In wuxia fights, characters extract moves from these sequences and use them in combat. And fights in wuxia are calculated by the number of moves used as opposed to time or rounds as we now use nowadays.
So when they say “X won by one move, it means that after exchanging n number of moves”, that’s what it means. By winning by more moves, it means X’s moves countered more of Y’s moves, meaning X was much superior to Y. The less moves X wins by, the closer matched X and Y are.
Hope that clarifies things for you. If you need further explanation, let me know.
1 Bonus Son-con Chapter
Thank you for all your generous donations, we have reached the goal, and I will now get to translating the bonus chapter.