I laid my fork and knife down, placed a hand on my forehead and let out a long sigh.
How god damn annoying.
No, I’m not annoyed by what happened today or the fact that mom told me off after I came back.
It’s just that my body was burning up. Well, not hot, but it felt like my organs were warmer than my skin. It’s the disgusting sensation where you feel really hot inside but can’t do anything about it. The sensation was a physical annoyance, not an emotional one. My whole body felt really uncomfortable while my head was filled with thoughts of losing control and violence. I wanted to smash the table to bits.
My head just randomly started hurting without any prior symptoms. I was fine during the day, but I think it was around the start of the evening that I started feeling a little dizzy. I didn’t pay much attention to it when it began but now it’s hurting. It feels like someone is attacking my head with an awl.
It was really uncomfortable. My body was burning up, my head was hurting, I felt dizzy and had no appetite. It felt like my body was trying to expel everything inside my body. I felt extremely sick all-over. My heart was racing so fast I could hear it like a heavy shower.
My veins felt like they were going to pop. This burning sensation inside and retched feeling where nothing comes out when I try to regurgitate is so uncomfortable.
Mom’s worried eyes looked over as she asked: “What’s wrong my son?”
I tried my best to hold back the next burst of retching, waved my hand and said: “It’s nothing, mom. I just feel a bit sick. I’ve probably caught a cold… Sorry, mom, I’ll pass on dinner tonight. I want to go lie down for a bit. I think I should be fine tomorrow.”
Mom bit down on her fork and muttered: “Uhm… That’s right, it’s a full moon tonight…”
She didn’t seem to be listening to what I was saying as she was in her on thoughts. I was feeling sick and even standing up felt a bit difficult. I decided not to wait any longer so I used the wall as support to make my way to my room. Everything looked distorted to me. It felt like I was walking in cotton. My throat felt like it was on fire and the veins on my arms were protruding. I felt nauseous and achy. My entire body was felt strange…
What condition is this?! I’m dizzy, nauseous, aching…
Bloody hell! God damn it!! Why me?! Why does this suck so much?! Why is my room so far away?! This is pissing me off! I should just destroy all this shit!! Argh!! Destroy!! Burn!! The world is laughing mockingly at me while I’m suffering like this!! I should just destroy it!
Oh yeah, let’s just kill and destroy. Let’s just burn everything around. I didn’t do anything wrong so why do I have to suffer this?! I’m so upset! I’m in so much pain! This world is fake! It’s all a mistake! Everything is wrong! This isn’t my fault… It has nothing to do with me… Why do I have to shoulder all of this…?
Let’s destroy it. Let’s destroy this world that’s thrown everything upon me. I can do it. I can do it. I have magic flowing through me. I can destroy this world! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Let’s destroy this world that’s completely unrelated to me!
“Your highness! Your highness!”
I suddenly tripped onto the floor and hit my head hard on the wall. The pain reduced the vengeful and violent urges that came out of left-field. Lucia held me in her arms, worriedly touched my head and said: “It’s been tough on you, your highness. Tonight is a full-moon so please bear with it. You’ll be fine once it’s midnight…”
“I hope I can hold out until midnight… Lucia, please call a doctor for me, I’m in a lot of pain right now… I feel really sick… Honest…”
I leaned on the wall for support and picked myself up. I could barely feel my two legs and staggered forwards. The moonlight in front of me looked like wine sprinkled downwards. I leaned on the wall and made my way forwards. Lucia suddenly yelled from behind: “Your highness!! Don’t!! Don’t go into the moonlight!!”
Unfortunately she was too late. I was bathing in the moonlight. It was a full moon tonight. The moonlight was like the sun. The clear rays of light covered my body like tides. Moonlight shouldn’t have any temperature, but every inch of skin of my body covered in the light felt like it was set on fire. It was so painful I thought I’d die. I cried in pain as I twisted and turned on the floor. It was as though my body had a mind of its on as I squirmed on the floor. The blood in my body felt like it was looking to escape outside, like it was trying to tear apart my flesh and veins to escape.
“Your highness!! Did you forget that your body can’t be exposed to moonlight in its current state?! The moonlight can collect the magic of elves, so our magic is significantly enhanced on full-moon nights, but your magic is out of control. Therefore, as soon as you make contact with the moonlight, your magic will go out of control and rip you to shreds!!”
“Th-then right now my body…”
“That’s correct. It’s because of the magic inside your body going berserk. Return to your room first and try to stay calm. I know it’s hard, but you need to control yourself. Her highness will help you.”
Lucia helped me onto my bed. The pain felt like it was going to tear apart my insides. It felt like someone was kneading my organs. Lucia looked at me with a concerned look, rubbed my forehead and said: “I’m sorry, your highness… I can’t do it… Only her highness can… So… So… Please wait… To stop you from losing control, I can only…”
Lucia picked up a small bottle, opened my mouth and poured it into my mouth. Before I could even think about what she fed me, my eyes got heavy, and I passed out.
It was only then that I felt a sense of relief. If I can escape this pain after death, then please kill me now.
I shut my eyes tightly. During my hazy moments of awakening, I felt a chilling feeling, and saw a red pair of eyes in the night sky that looked as though they wanted to swallow me whole. Those eyes were filled with desire and lust. I saw the pair of eyes encroach upon me when I was in my half-awake state…
“Good morning, your highness. It must’ve been rough for you last night.”
I was awoken by the chirping of the birds outside in the morning. Lucia pulled open the curtains and woke me up as she looked at me from a side. Then she went on to say in a surprised tone: “Your highness, are you still wetting the bed? Your bed sheets are wet.”
“It wasn’t m-… Okay, it was me…”
But I couldn’t help it!
I have to keep a lid on it even if I know the truth! What would happen otherwise? What would mom do?