I laid my fork and knife down, placed a hand on my forehead and let out a long sigh.
How god damn annoying.
No, I’m not annoyed by what happened today or the fact that mom lectured me after I came back.
It’s just that my body was burning up. Well, I wasn’t feeling hot, but it felt like my organs were warmer than my skin. It’s the disgusting sensation where you feel really hot inside but can’t do anything about it. The sensation was a physical annoyance, not an emotional one. My whole body felt really uncomfortable while my head was filled with thoughts of losing control and violence. I wanted to smash the table to bits.
My head just randomly started hurting without any prior symptoms. I was fine during the day, but I think it was around the start of the evening that I started feeling a little dizzy. I didn’t pay much attention to it when it began but now it’s throbbing. It feels like someone is attacking my head with an awl.
It was really uncomfortable. My body was burning up, my head was hurting, I felt dizzy and I had no appetite. It felt like my body was trying to expel everything inside my body. I felt extremely sick all-over. My heart was racing so fast I could hear it beating like a heavy downpour.
My veins felt like they were going to pop. This burning sensation inside and retched feeling where nothing comes out when I try to regurgitate is so uncomfortable.
Mom’s worried eyes looked over as she asked: “What’s wrong my son?”
I tried my best to hold back the next burst of retching, waved my hand and said: “It’s nothing, mom. I just feel a bit sick. I’ve probably caught a cold…. Sorry, mom, I’ll pass on dinner tonight. I want to go lie down for a bit. I think I should be fine tomorrow.”
Mom bit down on her fork and muttered: “Uhm… That’s right, it’s a full moon tonight…”
She didn’t seem to be listening to what I was saying as she was lost in her own thoughts. I was feeling sick and even standing up felt a bit difficult. I decided not to wait any longer so I used the wall as support to make my way back to my room. Everything looked distorted to me. It felt like I was walking in cotton. My throat felt like it was on fire and the veins on my arms were protruding. I felt nauseous and achy. My entire body felt uncomfortable all over…
What condition is this?!
I’m dizzy, nauseous, aching…
Bloody hell! God damn it!! Why me?! Why does this suck so much?! Why is my room so far away?! This is pissing me off! I should just destroy all this shit!! Argh!! Destroy!! Burn!! The world is laughing mockingly at me while I’m suffering like this!! I should just destroy it!
Oh yeah, let’s just kill and destroy. Let’s just burn everything around. I didn’t do anything wrong so why do I have to suffer this?! I’m so upset! I’m in so much pain! This world is fake! It’s all a mistake! Everything is wrong! This isn’t my fault… It has nothing to do with me… Why do I have to shoulder all of this…?
Let’s destroy it. Let’s destroy this world that’s thrown everything onto my shoulders. I can do it. I can do it. I have mana flowing through me. I can destroy this world! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Let’s destroy this world that’s completely unrelated to me!
“Your highness! Your highness!”
I suddenly tripped onto the floor and hit my head hard on the wall. The pain reduced the vengeful and violent urges that came out of left-field. Lucia held me in her arms, worriedly stroked my head and said: “It’s been tough on you, your highness. Tonight is a full-moon so please bear with it. You’ll be fine once it’s midnight…”
“I hope I can hold out until midnight… Lucia, please call a doctor for me. I’m in a lot of pain right now… I feel really sick… Honest…”
I leaned on the wall for support and picked myself up. I could barely feel my two legs and staggered forwards. The moonlight in front of me looked like wine sprinkled downwards. I leaned on the wall and made my way forwards. Lucia suddenly yelled from behind: “Your highness!! Don’t!! Don’t go into the moonlight!!”
Unfortunately she was too late. I was bathing in the moonlight. The moon was a full tonight. The moonlight was like the sun. The clear rays of light covered my body like tides. Moonlight shouldn’t have any temperature, but every inch of skin of my body covered in the moonlight felt like it was set on fire. It was so painful I thought I’d die. I cried in pain as I tossed and turned on the floor. It was as though my body had a mind of its own as I squirmed on the floor. The blood in my body felt like it was looking to escape outside, as though it was trying to tear apart my flesh and veins to escape.
“Your highness!! Did you forget that your body can’t be exposed to moonlight in its current state?! The moonlight can collect the mana of elves, so our mana is significantly enhanced on full-moon nights, but your mana is out of control. Therefore, as soon as you make contact with the moonlight, your mana will go out of control and rip you to shreds!!”
“Th-Then right now my body…”
“That’s correct. It’s because of the magic inside your body going berserk. Return to your room first and try to stay calm. I know it’s hard, but you need to control yourself. Her highness will help you.”
Lucia helped me onto my bed. The pain felt like it was going to tear apart my insides. It felt like someone was kneading my organs. Lucia looked at me with a concerned look, stroked my forehead and said: “I’m sorry, your highness… I can’t do it… Only her highness can… So… So… Please wait…. To stop you from losing control, I can only…”
Lucia picked up a small bottle, opened my mouth and poured it into my mouth. Before I could even think about what she fed me, my eyes got heavy, and I passed out.
It was only then that I felt a sense of relief. If I can escape this pain after death, then please kill me now.
“Gugh… Poot… Haa… Haa… Poot… Gugh… Gugh… Haa… Haa…”
When I woke up again, I was awoken by a strange feeling. The painl had been reduced a fair bit, but my hands and legs were numb. Further, I couldn’t seem to move. I must be temporarily immobilised from the intense pain. But why, why do I feel something soft, hot and moist wrapped around my tongue? It was sucking my mouth intensely too.
I opened my eyes and saw a breathtakingly-beautiful face in front of me. Mom was very close to me. Close enough that our noses were virtually touching. Mom closed her eyes and cupped my face in her hands. As she moved, the strange feeling in my mouth changed with it. That weird sucking and moaning sound was coming from my mouth!
Mom’s lips were plastered to mine as she crazily sucked my saliva and stirred my tongue!!
I struggled with all my might. That’s when I noticed all four of my limps had been tied down to the bed. Even my torso was bound. It’s like she was trying to control a mentally ill patient. Mom pressed her entire body on mine and crazily sucked my saliva. Her tongue moved around freely in my mouth, teasing my tongue.
Where our lips met, a white string of saliva slid down my skin….
What is this?! What is she trying to do?! Mom, you’re my mom! What are you doing?!
However… A strange nice feeling from my lips spread to my entire body. It felt so good my entire body went numb. It was like all the blood accumulated in my body was finally released. The great feeling like going to heaven numbed all my nerves, causing the dangerous consideration of whether or not to continue like this forever cross my mind.
“Gugh… Haa… Haa… Ahh… Son… My son… You’re awake…?”
Mom seemed to notice my abnormality. She released her hands and let me go. She opened her eyes wide. However, her eyes which were blue as the sea were a flirtatious blood-red colour under the moonlight. They were shimmering with a dangerous and seductive light. Mom looked at me with a charming smile and seductively wiped the traces from her the corner of her mouth. Her blood-red eyes focused their gaze on me. She leaned over which made her breasts exude an oppressive feeling. Mom’s smile was really close to me. Mom’s seductive body was pressed against mine, and she only wore a simple green negligee.
I felt like I was about to commit a sin!!!
“My son… My only son… Mine… Mine… My most beloved son… My brother’s son… Ah… Ah… These are my brother’s eyes… This is the shape of my brother’s face… Ah… Ah… This is the continuation of my brother… This is my child, my son….”
Mom’s expression was hideously scary. She pinched my chest tightly and ripped it aggressively.
“AAAHH! That hurts!!”
I looked at mom terrified, who was looking at the blood on her fingernails. She looked at them seductively and licked the blood off, finger by finger.
“Ah… Amazing… Amazing! My son’s blood… My brother’s blood… Son… You’re all my mine… You’re all mine….”
Mom leaned over, stuck her tongue out and engrossed herself in licking the blood that seeped out of my wound. The tip of her tongue was warm and wet. It slid around on my chest. Mom bit my wound and tugged it hard. She sucked on it like she was going to rip my flesh off and eat it. I resisted the intense pain and inerasable vacuity feeling from my wound. However, I felt great deep down, like I wanted to be ripped apart by mom. Shredded and eaten, piece by piece.
“Son… Son… I know… I know what you’re thinking as you look at mommy every day… You want what you used to suck on, right…? Alright. Alright… Just tell mommy if you want it… Mommy will satisfy you, because mommy will forever be your mom. And you, will forever be mommy’s son….”
Mom’s smile turned particularly terrifying in front of me. I looked at mom’s blood-red eyes feeling terrified while my body was frozen. Mom released the vine on my left hand, grabbed my powerless left hand and aggressively placed it on her glorious boob.
The soft, warm and fulfilling feeling was far too real for a virgin like me!
“Hehehe… Your reaction is so funny, son… Hahahahaha… This is my son… My son that belongs to only me…. Ah…. Mommy really wants to shove you back in…. Ahh…. Mommy wants to raise you all over again…. Ah…. Mommy wants to relive every moment spent with you…. Mommy wants to relive those moments without that bitch and Lucia…. Just the moments with the two of us…. Ahh….”
Mom smiled as she tossed away my hand and then quickly leaned over and pressed her lips firmly on mine.
Mom greedily sucked every drop of saliva I secreted. It was such a shameful act, but as mom sucked out my saliva, my body felt further and further relaxed. The power that seemingly tried to rip me apart seemed to seep out bit by bit following mom’s movements.
I resisted with everything I had, yet I wished that moment would continue. Am I broken…? Is my brain malfunctioning…? We can’t do this no matter what…. A mother and son doing something like this… While I do occasionally have fantasies about mom’s body, we can’t do this!
“Fuu… Fuu… Fuu…”
Mom’s expression slowly started to change. An inexplicable flush appeared on her face. I couldn’t see her other hand and I didn’t know what she was doing either! But I did notice her clench her hand on my chest tightly. The mana in my body seemed to have been emptied. I could feel… I could feel that huge fireball in my body had been sucked dry.
“Gugh… Gugh… Hnng… Haa… Haa… Gu… Huu… I-… It’s over… Ah… Aaaahhh!!”
I should be the one that’s roaring. The last flame of the massive fireball in my body got sucked out. Mom let go of my mouth in an aggressive fashion, and let out an elated and surprised shriek. Her body then jolted a few times before she finally lay down on my body and had a respite.
I too felt like all my blood had been drained of my body, leaving me with a sense of complete powerlessness and I fell into a deep sleep once again.
How I wish this was all a dream…. What happened basically shook my philosophies, world view and values. I now question the value of my existence and the meaning of the universe.
“Good morning, your highness. It must’ve been rough for you last night.”
I was awoken by the chirping of the birds outside in the morning. Lucia pulled open the curtains and woke me up as she looked at me from the side. Then she went on to remark in a surprised tone: “Your highness, are you still wetting the bed? Your bed sheets are wet.”
“It wasn’t m-… Okay, it was me…”
But I couldn’t help it!
I know the truth, but I have to keep a lid on it! What would happen otherwise? What would mom do?