Poor Fellow
Rou Anna drove Mu Yu back several metres. He evaded her attacks, refusing to hit a girl. Annoyed, Xiaoshuai jumped out. “Goodness gracious, he just touched your bosom, big deal. Sister Tian Ran doesn’t flip out at me when I touch her assets daily. Why are you so petty? You almost squashed me. Mu Yu, let her touch you, and you’re even.”
Mu Yu ducked and opined, “I’m not against it.”
“Shameless!”
As Rou Anna closed the gap, she plucked her guzheng strings, attacking Mu Yu on all fronts. He split his sword in four and rotated to deflect the attacks.
Mu Yu dashed over and snatched over Rou Anna’s guzheng. “Look, I don’t want to fight.”
“Give. It. Back!”
Rou Anna wasn’t scared of anybody, and she refused to tolerate anyone touching her bosom. Snatching her guzheng off her was another blow to her pride.
A gale abruptly blew. Rain bucketed down. Flower petals danced to the gale’s choreography in the shape of a tornado. Atop said tornado was a man roughly twenty years old, sporting a blue robe and hair bun. The subtle grin on his mug was the type that’d have girls fall head over heels for him.
Mu Yu: “Scattering flowers for your own entrance, I thought I’d seen it all.”
“The ambience is critical,” retorted the party crasher, making a soft landing and bowing to Rou Anna. “Miss Rou, we meet again. I did tell you fate has tied us together.”
Knowing the Primordial Infant Realm cultivator didn’t harbour kind will and recognising the potential danger, Mu Yu questioned, “Who are you?”
“Ximen Buxing, you came at the right time. Kill him for me, and I’ll let our grudge be a bygone,” fumed Rou Anna.
Mu Yu laughed. “Ximen Buxing? Ximen Clan’s Plague? That naming sense has me weak.”
“My name is Ximen Buxing. Everyone calls me Ximen Haoshuai. You can call me Ximen Shuai,” Ximen Buxing primly corrected.
“I own the rights to ‘Shuai’! You’re forbidden from using it!” belted Xiaoshuai, wagging his tail.
“Hey, Jiamen Buxing, why were you named Clan Plague?”
“It’s Ximen Buxing. However, my name is Ximen Chuixue. They call me Ximen Haoshuai. You can call me Ximen Shuai.”
“Why does she call you Jiamen Buxing, then?”
“Ahem, Miss Rou wants me to take your life, so I plan to do so. In saying that, I ensure my victims die satisfied. My old man told me giving a chance beforehand prevents them turning into vengeful souls and stalking me. I will wait for you say your last words.”
“So, why is your name Jiamen Buxing?”
“Is that your last question?”
“Yep, I won’t be able to rest in peace, otherwise.”
Ximen Buxing sighed and then started twirling his hair. “It’s a long story. I will need to start from the primordial era. It all started when the world was a m-”
“Ximen Buxing, get on with it,” demanded Rou Anna.
Ximen Buxing blinked rapidly. “I’ll give you a summary, then. My grandma drowned when I was four. My grandpa was killed in cold blood as part of someone’s revenge. My mother committed suicide when I was seven. I was sold to a brothel when I was eight because my beauty put women to shame. When the perverted paedophile pulled my pants down, he was disappointed I was a boy. Because I possess intelligence this world has never before seen or will ever see again, he took me in as his disciple. After hearing my misfortunate past, he named me Ximen Buxing. I call myself Ximen Chuixue when I’m out and about. You can call me Ximen Shuai.”
Ximen Buxing then took out a flute and played a melancholic melody. Mu Yu’s heart rate slowed down as he listened to the melody. He began to feel a sluggish onset…
“Mu Yu, don’t let the melody draw you in!” warned Cai Lie, arriving on the scene with Tian Ran when they saw the signal. Aware of Ximen Buxing’s tactic of sharing his pitiful past to drop their guard and murder them with his melody, Cai Lie covered his ears and sprinted over to fly kick Mu Yu, snapping the latter out of it.
“Young Master Cai Lie, why are you interfering with my melody of death?” Ximen Buxing questioned.
“He nearly had me,” Mu Yu said, freaked out.
“Are you all right, Brother Mu Yu?” asked Tian Ran.
“A graceful and lovely maiden, a perfect match for me,” remarked Ximen Buxing, leering at Tian Ran as per his usual self whenever he saw a maiden to his liking. He flicked his hair and gave her a bow in dramatic fashion. “Miss Tian Ran, how do you do?”
Tian Ran assumed an akimbo stance. “Didn’t you just try to kill Brother Mu Yu?”
“That’s not how the script is supposed to go,” muttered Ximen Buxing. Smiling, he struck his next pose. “You misunderstand, Miss Tian Ran. I was merely exchanging artistic pointers with him and enjoying music. See? He looks perfectly fine.”
“They should just use you as the poster boy for shamelessness,” Mu Yu cussed.
What good was calling someone who cultivated shamelessness shameless? Ximen Chuicheng predictably countered, “You are the most mesmerising maiden this one has seen in his life. It is a pity Mu Yu and this one met a little too late. This one’s music skills cannot compare to Mu Yu’s. He promised to exchange more pointers on music at Melody Garden another day. If you could give this one the honour of meeting you again, please be sure to come along.”
“Really?” Tian Ran sarcastically responded.
Rou Anna raged, “Ximen Buxing, are you going to kill him for me or not?”
“Miss Rou, we are cultured people. Fighting will not make us friends. As an example, neither of us did it on purpose last time, did we?”
“Just you wait!” Rou Anna warned before stomping off.
“Hey, your guzheng,” called Mu Yu, throwing Rou Anna’s guzheng to her.
Rou Anna caught her guzheng and left in a huff.
“Miss Rou, do you mind leaving your contact details? You’re also welcome to visit Melody Garden,” Ximen Buxing hollered. Shaking his head, he informed the others, “Miss Rou is rather petty. She’s still holding a grudge after I accidentally touched her buttocks…”
“You touched her butt. I touched her bosom. Why does she want me dead, yet is sparing you?” queried Mu Yu.
Tian Ran covered her globes. “Brother Mu Yu, I didn’t know you were also so debauched.”
Mu Yu frantically explained to Tian Ran what transpired.
Mu Yu: Girls develop so fast these days. Tian Ran’s aren’t sm-, whoa, whoa, hold your horses, Mu Yu. She’s your junior sister, sicko!
“Mu Yu, have you any idea who Rou Anna is?” Cai Lie gave Mu Yu a smirk. “Jade Sect and Secular World Sect’s girls are pedantic about their purity, so they’re strongly against physical contact with males. Young men consider it an honour to marry their disciples. I’m not surprised she flew off the handle. You might want to sleep with your eyes open from now.”
“Mu Yu and I have touched Sister Tian Ran’s body,” mentioned Xiaoshuai.
“Shut up,” scolded Mu Yu, shoving Xiaoshuai back into his shirt and missing Tian Ran’s pout. He drew in the air with a hand whilst explaining, “I told you I didn’t mean to touch her. If they’re going to be so adamant about protecting their purity, they also have some responsibility to protect themselves. Moreover, is it my fault she showed up there?”
Cai Lie: “She’s quite the pitiful beauty. I thought they claimed ordinary cultivators wouldn’t be able to touch Goddess. That’s two people who’ve touched her already. Man, I should’ve tried my luck out. God, I want to pinch those adorable cheeks…”
“Hahaha,” laughed Ximen Buxing, overhearing Cai Lie. He patted Mu Yu on the shoulder after. “Bro, we’re in the same boat. You should’ve told me, and we wouldn’t have had to go through all that. By the way, her butt is killer. I bet the spot you touched feels even better. How did it feel? I’ve had countless girls, but I’ve never touched the globes of anyone from Jade Sect…”
“Pretty good, bro. Give it a try. It’s not as if she can beat you,” replied Mu Yu, inwardly comparing Ximen Buxing to Tian Yun.
“I’d love to, but I can’t bring myself to touch Goddess Meng Xin.”
Cai Lie: “If you touch Goddess Meng Xin, you’ll need to hide in another dimension.”
“Who’s Goddess Meng Xin?” Mu Yu inquired.
Cai Lie jerked his head back. “The mesmerising, captivating girl of every man’s dream…”
Mu Yu: Please don’t tell me that’s the nightmare I saw drawn in his book.
Tian Ran dragged Mu Yu and Cai Lie off before Ximen Buxing and Cai Lie contaminated their brains.
“Why are you leaving already? Miss Tian Ran, do you mind leaving your contact details?” Ximen Buxing called. “Man, people just don’t welcome handsome people, do they? Being a stud can be hard sometimes.”
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