Deal at the Examination Venue
This round was the same as the last. The examination was to be completed as a pair, but it seems the order was jumbled up, because I wasn’t paired with my Junior shiyi. Instead, I was paired with another young maiden.
She had her eyes plastered on Master Liu and was flirting with her eyes non-stop ever since she set foot in.
Lass, let me give you a piece of advice: A lady’s beauty will never enter the line of sight of dedicated monks and gays…
“You will be tested on your intellect this round. Alright, listen in.” Master Liu was shaking his head the way people do when fortune tellers explain their fortune to them based on divination sticks at temples. He looked more like a nut-job than a respectable young man from a prestigious family.
The examiner asked: “Let’s say the opponent was more skilled than you and skilled with hidden weapons while you were outclassed in both. What should you do in this sort of situation?”
The young maiden shyly raised her small hand and twist-and-turned her body as she shyly said: “You could seduce him, try to make him think he won, and when he’s distracted, castrate him! If you manage to cut off the root of a man’s power, he’s basically useless. After that, hehehe.”
Holy fuck! I correctly guessed what her opening would be, but that second half… I never imagined she’d say that…
Aren’t you too ruthless? Your enemy might not be a bad person, you know? I imagined the scene of a highly skilled marital artist who was also an elite hidden weapon user getting castrated by some girl of a prestigious family… Damn…
Master Liu displeasingly denounced: “Nonsense! Absolute nonsense! Is that something a girl says? Girls are supposed to protect their chastity. All girls in the world do, so why are you trying to act like a slut, seducing people, stealing what people like and stealing their man?! Women shouldn’t get married!”
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don’t you think you’re too selfish?!
I can’t believe people can’t tell you swing that way… Liu Shan Men aren’t very sharp.
He continued getting angrier as he spoke, and it wasn’t long before he slammed his large hand on the table, and said: “There are so many guys trapped by the charms of females precisely because of sluts like you. Get lost! I don’t want to see you!”
The young maiden looked like she got struck by lightning. She confidently tried to show off in front of the guy she liked and that was what she was rewarded with. He scolded her until she ran off crying…
Master Liu seemed like he enjoyed it, like he managed to vent his anger over failing to keep his lover. He looked more alive than before. He helped himself to a cup of tea, and said: “Ming Feizhen, it’s your turn to answer.”
I continued looking at him speechlessly. I suddenly didn’t feel like answering anymore, but decided to answer anyway, and said: “I’ll plant a mine and blow him up.”
He frowned and said: “Answer properly!” You treat men and women completely differently! Even an idiot could tell that I was dissing you, and yet you’re asking me to repeat myself? Is this like some new way of discriminating against women?
But I must ask, what the hell is up with this topic?
A highly skilled martial artist who’s also skilled at using hidden weapons…
No matter how hard I think about it, the only answer that comes to mind is: “Can’t you just one-hit KO him?” Does the problem lie with me?
Master Liu took a sip of tea and said with his eyes half-closed: “You don’t know how to answer? That’s fine. Okay, next question.”
What the hell?!
There are two questions now?
That girl ran off for nothing then…
“There are fourteen people in the hall, and the person you’re charged with protecting has been captured by the enemy. How should you resolve the situation?”
Say, can’t you ask simpler questions? Like how did the pig die when he ran into the tree?
If you ask me these sorts of questions, the only answer I’ll have for you is: “Kill the guy on the left of the hostage first, then the one on the right, then rescue the hostage.”
Master Liu let out a sigh and said: “The correct answer is to feign surrender and deceive the enemy. Haa~ Ming Feizhen, your martial arts skills are whatever, and you’re terrible at using your brain. Looks like I’ll be continuing on to the next round without you.”
Did he just say he was going to eliminate me and bury my dream to retire?
He stopped drinking as I signalled to stop with my hand. He looked at me surprised, and asked: “What?”
Now that it’s come to this, I can’t hold back anymore. I have to put you in your place. Old Liu, don’t blame me. It’s your son’s fault for disrespecting his seniors.
I suppressed the sound around, and used Shu Yin Cheng Xian Arts to speak to him, by speaking directly into his ears so that others wouldn’t hear. I said to him: Master Liu… I know Su Xiao.”
Master Liu’s eyes opened wide before making a scornful expression and shouting: “So what if you know him? Are you trying to leverage that to gain favour with me or something? This is Liu Shan Men! Listen carefully, Ming Feizhen…”
His voice got louder and louder. Fine, if that’s how you want to play it.
I said: “I know about the secret between you and Su Xiao.”
I saw a bead of sweat roll down his head as he said: “H-how do you…? What else do you know?”
I replied: “You not only know him, but you’re also very close to him. You’re so close to each other that you’re ready to share a bed with him, right?”
He suddenly started laughing in a friendly way, so I played along with him.
“Hahaha, Master Ming, you’re so talented.”
“Hahaha, not at all, not at all.”
And that’s how I managed to pass the second round without a hitch.