Beloved Sister Ning
“Sister Ning, Sister Ning, wait! I’ll tell the truth. I was just afraid that you wouldn’t believe me if I told the truth… Just wait!”
I stuck my foot into the elevator. Sister Ning, who was inside, wiped her tears as she went bonkers, rapidly pressing the “close” button. Fortunately, our elevator’s quality was good enough to not amputate my foot. I stood in front of the elevator because I couldn’t go in. I didn’t dare to pull my foot out for I was afraid Sister Ning would leave by herself if I let her go.
Sister Ning yelled at me at the top of her lungs as she continued vigorously pressing the button: “Get lost!! I don’t want to see you!! I don’t want to be with you! Please, spare me! Please! Stop pretending to be a good guy, okay? Stop clinging to me! I really can’t and really don’t want to bear with this heart-wrenching pain! Please! Please!! Zhu Liangzhe, spare me!!”
I was worried management would come up at that rate.
“You knew long ago, didn’t you?! You knew long ago, didn’t you?! Just as in the past. You knew I can’t leave you! You knew I could only stay by your side forever back then and now and can’t even run from you! I have to face you despite the immense pain! What wrong have I done?! What wrong have I done to deserve this treatment?!”
Sister Ning violently smashed the buttons one last time. Of course, it was ineffective. She grabbed her hair in a crazed fashion then sat in a corner of the elevator and cried. I pushed the door open and tried to gently pull her up. Alas, she ignored me. She hit me anded push me. I grabbed her hands with a tight hold to ensure she wouldn’t run off to the ground floor. She was wearing her sleepwear, after all. Plus, we couldn’t let people see us dishevelled and quarrelling. What would they think? A spouses’ spat?
“Sister Ning, Sister Ning, please listen to me, although I know that you’re guaranteed to not believe my explanation, which is why I didn’t tell you…”
It took a lot of effort to finally pull Sister to the entrance of the elevator. I spoke in a loud voice but wasn’t angry. I just wanted to tell Sister Ning the truth. Admittedly, the truth was incredibly strange, but it was the truth. Furthermore, it was impossible for me to explain the truth. What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to say, “The truth is, I’m dead. These are my moms and wives I met after I transmigrated to another world? I went through a bunch of things with them, and we’re currently living a life that’s questionable on all levels?”
If I said that, Sister Ning would think that I was lying through my teeth or even mocking her. Nobody would believe something so outlandish. Hence, I pondered, “So, what do I say…? What’s convincing? Sister Ning’s feelings can be put aside for the meantime; however, I need to calm her down first and foremost.”
“What else do you want to say?!! What else do you want to say?! Is hurting me once not enough for you? How else do you plan to hurt me?! Yes, I like you; I always have. I’ve always wanted to be with you, which is why I’ve always been by your side. I always thought I had a chance. I always believed that, yet you brought back four women with better bodies than me who also like you! What are you trying to suggest?! You want to hurt me over and over again?! Why are you treating me this way?!!”
Sister Ning wasn’t remotely calm. She punched and kicked me. No, her attacks didn’t feel comfortable, soft or whatever else; it hurt. All I could do was do my best to support her on her feet. Her tears flew onto my face. I did my best to hug her because I didn’t know what to say or do.
If I didn’t die and was still alive, I’d say that being able to be together with Sister Ning would be the happiest thing in my life. How could I not like her? Honestly speaking, I was always aware I liked her. How could someone not like her when they were with her? Sadly, I had an inferiority complex in the past. I felt so inferior that I couldn’t find the courage to confess my feelings. I’d be ecstatic if I got to go out with her on the weekend to see a movie, have a meal and buy her some bubble tea. I never thought she liked me. She treated me as an elder sister would treat her younger brother. Hearing her confession came as a surprise.
I was back, breathing the oxygen there, listening to the cars, recharging my cell phone at home and Sister Ning was crying in my embrace. Everything felt realistic, but I knew I could no longer return to this world. The fact that the four of them were here proved that everything I previously experienced was real. I really was living with Nier, Lucia, Luna, Ling Yue, Freya, my daughters and the White Deer King in that world. What was in front of me couldn’t possibly happen. I couldn’t return from the river, for I died at the time. Everything before me was an illusion.
In spite of Sister Ning’s tears feeling cold, my heart feeling wrenched as I listen to her woeful cries and her expression of despair. It was all fake. Still, because I couldn’t give Sister Ning happiness even in dreams, I was upset. I made her suffer in even in her dreams. I had no means of giving her bliss. After I died, she must’ve been heartbroken. I didn’t get to see her tears at the time. I didn’t need to see those who liked me in pain, yet I saw it today. Not to mention I was the cause.
“Sister Ning… Sister NIng… I’m sorry. If possible, I’d definitely confess to you. If I’m still around, if I still can… I can guarantee that I’ll always like you.”
Sister Ning ran out of energy from her breakdown. She weakly leaned on my chest, not because she was admitting defeat.
Since it was all fake, if I confessed, I presumed it wouldn’t impact the normal timeline. I shouldn’t be alive at this point in time. I didn’t have Lucia’s dagger on my back, either. I thought that, if I came up with a reasonable reason, I might just be able to convince Sister Ning to accept my explanation…