Martial King’s Retired Life – Vol. 1 Ch. 22

Young Man with a Sabre

“Su Xiao, go take a look over there. Let’s talk after we get some information on Orchid Monarch Hollow Bamboo.”

“Alright, but can you hold a proper conversation with… Mr. Scum here?”

Su Xiao blinked a few times and then said: “I’ll head over there and try to gather some information.”

“Yes, yes, yes. Let’s do that. Mr. Scum, let’s have a chat, shall we?”

After I said three sentences, the self-proclaimed, one-of-a-kind ruffian and number one scum-bag curly-haired bloke rubbed his hands with a smile like a luscious chrysanthemum and said: “Hey bro, let’s just have a friendly chat. If you have a question, feel free to ask, there’s no need to be so reserved. I’ll tell you everything I know. What? A wife? I don’t have one. Hehe. I don’t want a wife. I was preparing to send Miss Wang back.  Of course I’ll compensate them. I should compensate them by all accounts. I’ll compensate them even if it means I have to sell my pants. I’ll pay Aunt Li back too. I’ll pay her back twice the amount. Actually, make that three times the amount. The village chief’s ox? Hmm… As the representative and face of young people of this village, I was going to swap his ox for a younger one because his hard-working ox was so old it was basically ready to die from illness. Actually, I was going to get him two oxen, I mean ten oxen to repay him for always looking out for me.”

I spent my breath teaching this slag how he should live his life. He puffed up his cheeks while still keeping my waist blade in check with the part between his legs, and had changed for the better.

He really does live up to his nickname, scum. I haven’t come across as many as bad as him.

“I won’t make things hard for you since you’re so cooperative.” I sheathed my sword back into my scabbard. The corner of the punk’s eyes lifted up as if he were about to cuss me.

I gave him a soft pat on the shoulder causing his entire body to sink more than one-foot deep into the ground. His legs were fine thought so the tough ground surface was probably formed from mud. He was so surprised his face looked like an antelope face-to-face with a pride of lions, causing his entire body to quiver helplessly.

I gave him a smile and said: “Answer whatever I ask you.”

Only then did Mr. Scum come out honestly…

Turns out his surname is Cha, and his first name is Pi. He may look like a fighting-chicken right now, but he’s the son of a prestigious family in Peach Village. His father was involved with dealings with the emperor’s security detail in the past. He’s the descendent of a general. His late father had wished for him to enter the palace and serve the kingdom, and hence the character ‘Pi’ for his name*

Who would’ve imagined that this punk could turn the “pi” character in “conquer and expand the kingdom’s lands” and turn it into the “pi” character for ruffian? The bastard even turned his surname “Cha” into the character “zha” for scum. I better be careful when I’m around his ancestors’ cemetery. I don’t want to get a shock when his old man jumps out of his casket to strangle him…

And now onto the main point…

Three uninvited guests showed up at his place a few days ago claiming to be his father’s friends when he was still alive and said that they came from a place called Orchid Monarch Hollow Bamboo. They asked to borrow some stuff from his place and then turned his place inside-out. They stayed for a few days and refused to leave. They even announced that they wouldn’t just let the matter go so easily.

Okay, we can’t not mention Mr. Slag’s asshole-mentality. At first, he was really afraid of those three guests from the pugilistic world occupying his place, but then he came up with the idea to bully and con the villagers using their name as a form of backing. The bastard conned the Wang family’s daughter, conned Aunt Li of her money and the village chief of his ox.

This guy is the walking definition of the word shameless.

But there was one thing that caught my attention.

“You said that they claimed to be people from Orchid Monarch Hollow Bamboo, right?”

The slag said with a crying face: “Yes… I’m telling the truth. I wouldn’t dare lie to you!” I didn’t think he was lying.

“Do you know what sort of place Orchid Monarch Hollow Bamboo is?”


I don’t think he knows. If he did, he wouldn’t be stupid enough to bully girls under the name of the envoy of the Demon Sect.

“So who are they fighting with?”

“I think it was some Forest Guards.” **

Forest guards my ass! I’d be a metropolitan guard if that were the case!*** He must be talking about the Qilin Guards.

The Qilin Guards have always been responsible for finding the whereabouts of the Demon Sect so that’s nothing strange. I listened in to the sound of weapons clashing against one another in the distant suspiciously.

The Demon Sect’s martial arts? I don’t know, I’m not familiar with it.


“Energy Fusion is Mount Hua Sect’s technique. They’re fellow disciples and they’re flaunting their skills like they’re hot-shots.” I’m very knowledgeable on the internal techniques taught by various prestigious sects, including the Demon Sect. The three who came claiming to be members of Orchid Monarch Hollow Bamboo are using Mount Hua’s internal Energy Fusion. Once one has mastered Energy Fusion then the practitioner can imitate the techniques of even the Demon Sect as long as they have a good grasp on the actualised techniques that need to be executed.

“Huh? What did you say?”


If they really were from the Demon Sect, Su Xiao would need more than ten lives. Those guys kill people without batting an eye. But Mount Hua…

Oh yeah, I’ve retired, so why do I have to concern myself with this crap?

“Slag, bring me a pot of tea, my throat is dry.”


Su Xiao saw three people in blue shirts fighting with three men in brocade guard uniforms. Their weapons and agility clearly outclassed Su Xiao.

Ming Feizhen told him to just watch from afar, but one of the guys in blue looked like he was gaining the upper hand. Su Xiao couldn’t tell who was who, and was worried the Demon Sect would win, so he tried his best to come up with a plan.

To be frank, in such circumstances, new recruits would’ve run away with their tail between their legs and reported it to their superior. However, Su Xiao has a strong sense of justice, and after hearing Shen Yiren’s speech, his sense of justice gushed forth.

Pretty Boy Su Xiao pulled out his trusty sabre he always had on him after shouting: “You demonic trash, how dare you behave so audaciously?!” His sabre was the Su family’s heirloom, the divine sabre called Ancient Cold.

The fact that the blade was revered by the heavens couldn’t be hidden despite the blade looking rusty and the handle being old. The wielder was a young and elegant pretty boy. The sabre was like the crescent moon at night.

The six were engaged in an intense battle, but were unconsciously drawn to one particular person. Someone among them blurted out: “What a handsome young man. What a sharp blade.”

Su Xiao with his sabre in hand confidently yelled: “I’m Su Xiao from Liu Shan Men. Which one of you are the bastards from Orchid Monarch Hollow Bamboo?!”

One of the guys with a blue shirt said: “Oh, so you’re from Liu Shan Men. Okay, fuck you. I wasted my breath complimenting you.”

Since that guy in the blue shirt dared to cuss at someone from Liu Shan Men, it went without saying that he was from the Demon Sect, and therefore meant that the three in brocade guard uniforms were allies.

Right after Su Xiao formed his conclusion, the three guys in the brocade robe said: “Fuck you, Liu Shan Men. How dare you come in and try to kill-steal after all our effort? You want a piece of the pie? Not over our dead bodies.”

Those three were even ruder than the three in blue shirts.

Just one line from Su Xiao incurred the verbal-wrath from both sides. Okay, so who’s with the Demon Sect?

Su Xiao got confused…


*Comes from the phrase开疆辟土 which depending on context can be translated a number of ways, but in this particular scenario is like “conquer and expand the kingdom’s lands (Lit. Cut open new lands).” The third character in (from the left) is “pi” which is the same character for his name which essentially means “break” in this context.

**Forest is ‘Lin’ which is the same pronunciation as the ‘Lin’ in ‘Qilin’.

***I changed it from “sanitation enforcer” to “metropolitan guard” otherwise the joke wouldn’t make sense in English.


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