Inappropriate Thoughts
“Play the memory loss card. Tell Tian Ran you lost your memories and took Qiao Xue for her,” recommended Xiaoshuai.
“And switch their roles when I run into Qiao Xue?” Mu Yu contested.
“Your fault for being a philanderer.”
“Does that even matter right now?”
“It’s what landed you in your predicament. Take a page out of my book. Look how loyal I am.”
“Oh yeah, very loyal to Momo.”
“Hey!”
“Mu Yu, why not tell Tian Ran Archfiend Baiyuan forced you into it because he admired your talents? I mean, parents would prefer their children marry exemplary partners, right?” suggested Village Chief Bu.
“I cannot argue with any of those facts. Old Furry is always trying to set me up to be his son-in-law,” Mu Yu responded.
“Ah, pfft, more like he takes on you at every opportunity,” scoffed Xiaoshuai.
“The fiend has issues. What’s it to him if I like Qiao Xue or not?”
After a protracted discussion that did not go nowhere, Mu Yu opined, “I think I should just be candid and sincere. I think I can move her with honesty. Everyone likes honest youths.”
“Wrong. Handsomeness, like me, is the prerequisite to being persuasive. You don’t qualify,” slighted Xiaoshuai.
“While honesty is a virtue, a white lie is sometimes better. You better get going because it’s getting dark,” urged Village Chief Bu.
“Okay.”
Mu Yu flew to the manor, surmising Tian Ran would be there. The mood when he arrived turned out to be as surprisingly bright as the lanterns powered by formations outside.
“Hahaha, welcome back, Mu Yu. I was talking to Tian Ran about you.” Mu Tianhe patted Mu Yu on the shoulder.
“About me?” Mu Yu stole a glance Tian Ran’s way.
“How you two got to know each other, mainly. Mu Yu, you’re a lucky man to find yourself such a virtuous wife.”
“Hehe, you flatter me, Grandpa,” conveyed Tian Ran.
Mu Tianhe, eyes on Tian Ran, stressed, “Mu Yu, don’t be mean to Tian Ran like that again, okay?”
“Mean like that? What? S-since when was I mean to h-”
Tian Ran poked her tongue at Mu Yu. “Thank you for standing up for me, Grandpa.”
“Hahaha, I won’t let Mu Yu bully you. I’ll be taking my leave now.”
“Grandpa, the golden lotuses that I gave you were raised in Secular World Sect’s divine pool. As long as you consume them as I taught you, you will see health benefits.”
“I’ll be sure to give it a try. I’ll leave the couple to their business now, hahaha.”
“Couple, yeah, true, true…” Mu Yu’s smug grin earned him a flush glare from Tian Ran. “Since when did you grow so close to my grandpa? What did you tell him to consume?”
“Secret I cannot tell,” answered Tian Ran, giving Xiaoshuai a hug.
“Fine. Be that way. What do you think of my family?”
“Grandpa is nice. As for you… well, hard to say.”
“Approachable and understanding doesn’t qualify me yet?”
Tian Ran grabbed Mu Yu by the ear. “Oh yeah? How about this father-in-law of yours?”
“I swear on my life that it’s just his one-sided affair. He declared himself my father-in-law without my consensus. His skin is as thick as layers of bricks.”
“And how thick is yours?”
Mu Yu touched his face. “Remarkably thin, I’d say. Xiaoshuai and I are good kids.”
“Exactly, exactly, our skin is so thin the breeze could cut our skin. No lie.” Xiaoshuai pinched his face to drive home his claim, while Mu Yu lifted his chest in approval.
Inquisitive, Tian Ran sat down to ask, “Whatever. I’m not going to make a fuss about it. I’ve now met your family, so isn’t it time we move on to the next phase?”
“The next phase? Ar-aren’t you being too direct? Hehe.”
Xiaoshuai exclaimed, “Tian Ran, you want to move to the next step with Mu Yu?!”
“What else? Wait?”
“I won’t refuse, but it’s rather sudden…”
Xiaoshuai cried, “Yeah, it’s too abrupt! How can you explicate you want to do explicit things with Mu Yu in my presence?”
Tian Ran grabbed Xiaoshuai by the ear. “What explicit things? Who said that? I’m talking about the cultivation world’s situation! Shouldn’t we do something now that three sects have been removed? Wasn’t that what you were discussing before? Is that not what we’re talking about?”
“Oh, yeah, of course. What are you on about, Xiaoshuai? Ximen Buxing has led you astray. I’ll punish you the next time I catch you reading pornography.”
“Weren’t you thinking about the same thing as him?” chided Tian Ran.
“No, no, of course not. Why would I? I was trying to suggest we rest up and then proceed with planning. I’m the embodiment of virt-”
“Basically, you’ve learnt to be a lecher after leaving Mount Dustfallen and just admitted to it!”
“No, no, I’m not Xiaoshuai. I’m a prim young man. I was not having dirty thoughts. No.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?! No thoughts for me because you only think about Qiao Xue? Am I that much of a bore?!”
The twilight had faded to black. The moon had taken the sun’s place. A bold decision flourished in Mu Yu’s stuttering brain, impelling him to scoop Tian Ran off her feet and take off running to Formation Palace. “Since you’ve met my parents, it’s time we take it to the next step. We need to realise our thoughts.”
“What? What does that mean?” Tian Ran’s heart thumped harder and harder with each step Mu Yu took.
“Dream together on a bed.”
“I haven’t given my consent…”
“Dawn would’ve walked in by the time you’re done thinking.”
Xiaoshuai chased after the couple, cheering, “Yay! I want to sleep in the middle.”
“You sleep in the corridor.”
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