Sure-fire Technique – Kabedon Great Art
“Ling’er, sorry, I won’t put down Second Brother again,” Mu Yu sincerely expressed.
“An obvious facade. Again,” instructed Tian Ran, giving Mu Yu a knock on the head.
Tian Ran had Mu Yu practicing confessing to Lan Ling’er with her, with her judging the feasibility of his attempts. Tian Ran’s argument was she knew best which confession style girls liked since she was a girl herself.
Mu Yu scrunched his nose. He reset and tried to imagine Tian Ran as Lan Ling’er. “Ling’er, I admit Second Brother is much better than me.”
Mu Yu just couldn’t imagine Tian Ran as Lan Ling’er since they were considerably different personalities.
“That sounds insincere. If you can’t convince me, you can’t convince her.”
“Is lying the only solution? What do you girls like?” Mu Yu complained after the umpteenth attempt that afternoon.
Tian Ran tilted her head and pinched her chin: “We like boys with guts, a sense of duty, someone gentle, considerate, knows how to take care of us, loyal, cares about the family, masculine, willing to do anything for his lover, provides us with a sense of secur-”
“I tick all those boxes. I was born with those traits.”
“Most importantly, he must not be a narcissist.”
Mu Yu pulled a funny face.
Tian Ran added, “Their facial appearance is also important.”
“What do you think of my face?” Mu Yu tilted his head, then revealed what he considered a bright and cool smile that’d sweep girls off their feet.
Tian Ran pinched his face and answered, “You have a nose, eyebrows, eyes, ears and mouth. You have a normal face.”
“Wow, girls are so shallow. Shifu says one’s character is the most important part. An upright character wins acknowledgement.”
“Really? Elder Dust Gale is so right,” enthused Tian Ran.
“Shifu also said the most important trait for girls is manners,” lied Mu Yu.
What Feng Haochen really said was, “Be yourself. There’s no need to change who you are for anyone.” Lan Ling’er would’ve copped countless earfuls, otherwise.
“Hmm, Elder Dust Gale is absolutely right. That’s what my shifu told me, but I can’t help myself. I like doing whatever my mood dictates. I don’t want to change. That being said, if Elder Dust Gale tells me to change, I will change no matter what.”
“Heaven forbid I ever comprehend why you worship Shifu so much. Surely others don’t worship him to the same degree.”
“Young Man, if you hear of a man’s marvellous accomplishments from a young age for years on end, you will eventually worship him. My Shizun goes on and on about his greatness every day, so I want to meet him.”
“Oh, really? Why do I hate Second Brother so much when Ling’er keeps prattling on and on about Second Brother’s strengths?”
“That’s a difference between guys and girls. You guys can’t stand another male outshining you.”
“Rubbish. I acknowledge First Brother as being far more outstanding than I am,” contended Mu Yu. Cheng Yan was the only man besides his shifu that he genuinely respected.
“Do you want to win Sister Ling’er’s heart or not?” grumbled Tian Ran.
“Go on.”
“Girls like boys who are considerate and pay attention. Tell me. What does Sister Ling’er like most?”
“Orchids, probably? I know she grows one in her room. She also likes the red colour, I believe. She doesn’t hate blue, though,” Mu Yu responded after engaging his brain.
“What makes her happy?”
“Chiding me. She’ll be happy as long as I trail behind Second Brother.”
“You have no chance, then. Can you change your target of affection, such as Brother Xiang Nan or something?”
“I’m not into men,” Mu Yu replied with a straight face.
Tian Ran pouted and sat down to think. When she was done, she sprang back up to her feet. “I guess I have to resort to my ace, then. My senior sister told me about Kabedon Great Art. Come over here.”
Tian Ran dragged Mu Yu to his feet and pressed him up against the tree. He was shocked, but he lacked the power to resist. She explained, “Kabedon Great Art is lethal against females. My senior told me she’d definitely give herself to a man if he used it on her. The essence of this technique is being decisive, nimble, assertive with your gaze and confident.”
Tian Ran slammed the tree trunk to the left of Mu Yu’s cheek with her right hand, startling him. He glanced out of his peripherals to see where her hand was.
“Look into my eyes. Ignore my hand. I’m demonstrating the technique! Pay attention to my gaze. You need to give off that bad boy vibe but also a hint of affection, the type that’s a declaration she’s yours and easy to notice.”
Mu Yu did as he was told. Tian Ran blinked and tried to pull her interpretation of a domineering bad boy gaze. Sadly, he felt her eyes and eyelash combination to be deadly cute. Her interpretation wasn’t remotely close. It was just an ignorant lass trying to act mature. Her scent and appearance gradually burnt Mu Yu’s face. She, too, glowed red. She yanked her arm away and acted as though she didn’t just blush. “See? It works. Go try on Sister Ling’er now.”
Mu Yu recollected himself and nonchalantly replied, “I doubt it will work. She’s different to what you think.”
“How would it not work? I’m a female disciple of Secular World Sect. I sometimes hear my senior sister talk about what sort of man she likes. She said that technique was a sure-fire technique.”
“I should practice first. How about you role play Lan Ling’er? If you could resist my masculinity for so long, I’m halfway there.”
“All right.”
Tian Ran brushed her hair behind her and leaned her back onto the tree. Mu Yu slowly placed his hand onto the tree trunk.
“Not domineering enough. You need to be more manly.”
Mu Yu pulled his arm back and slammed it on the tree trunk again, shaking the poor banyan tree. He paused for a while as he pieced together the words he had withheld for fear of rejection for a long time before saying, “Ling’er, I like you. Will you accept me?”
“Sure,” Tian Ran responded with a nod.
“Eh? That’s it?”
“I’m not Sister Ling’er. It’s pointless for me to say yes, hehe.”
Mu Yu and Tian Ran gave it a few more runs until he was confident he grasped the essence of Kabedon Great Art. He mustered up the courage to go and pour his heart out. Tian Ran watched from a corner and said, “Confessing is easy. In the worst case scenario, you’ll be friend zoned and be granted a nice gentleman card.”
“What’s a nice gentleman card?”
“Not too sure myself. Senior Sister told me girls can’t be ruthless when rejecting a man, so they give the man a nice gentleman card. Maybe they write a rejection letter worded nicely?”
“What the actual…?”
That was worthless information. Mu Yu did a lap around the mountain on feet but didn’t see any signs of Lan Ling’er. He asked the twins to see if they knew. They stated she went to train halfway up the mountain. She wasn’t training when he found her, nonetheless. She sat there and spaced out as she peered into the distance. He cleared his throat.
Lan Ling’er looked over her shoulder and mocked, “What, you have a cold?”
Mu Yu brushed off the jab and replied, “Ling’er, come here. I have something to say.”
“Just spit.”
Mu Yu, standing by the tree, scratched his face and tried again. “Just come here. I don’t want others to hear me.”
Lan Ling’er narrowed her eyes for a few seconds before complying. She stopped next to the tree. Mu Yu pushed her up against the tree on her shoulder, refocused and slammed the tree.
“What are you doing?” Lan Ling’er threw a front kick. Unprepared, Mu Yu groaned as he was sent past the rock and off the mountain…
Mouth gaping, Tian Ran scratched the back of her head. “Why didn’t she act according to the script?”
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