An All-Kinds-of-Messed-Up Situation
My male classmates looked as though they had a botched makeup job. My female classmates were latched onto each other and crying. An unbearably arrogant guy had He Shi pinned down while mercilessly hammering his broken leg.
“Zhao Yuejing?!” I exclaimed once I saw the face of the guy assaulting He Shi. “What the hell is he doing here?”
“I literally just told you it was him. He’s always been a bully. He was the one who claimed to have lost something and insisted on searching our classroom,” Miss Shi fumed.
The only thing it looks like he’s finding is trouble, though… Those vicious attacks are something a man out for blood would dish out.
“You think you’re tough because Lu Feiming didn’t finish you? This is what you get for opposing me,” grouched Zhao Xin.
Miss Wang Zi popped over to tell me, “He Shi couldn’t help hurling a few insults after witnessing the others take beatings, so…”
“Teacher’s pet, everyone knows you’re a lowly boot licker, yet you think you can act tough with me? Call him a ‘dog’ ten times, and I’ll let you keep a leg.” He Shi’s sweat had darkened his clothes, while his face was losing redness, yet he didn’t make a sound, prompting Zhao Xin to bray, “You going to say it or not?!”
“I will…” He Shi looked up. “… You’re an inbred dog.”
“Eat this!” Zhao Xin stomped on He Shi’s face. “You think you’re untouchable because the principal likes you, huh? He values your potential to pass the imperial exams, not you, you teacher’s pet. All right, I’ll leave your leg alone and take your hands, instead. I’d like to see you pass the exams with your feet.” Zhao Xin lifted a foot up.
“Wait!” I called out.
Zhao Xin looked over to me and exclaimed, “For what?!”
“There’s a fly!” I swung my hand in an arc from my side, clapped Zhao Xin’s cheek and continued over to the side, turning his head.
Like a scripted scene, Zhao Xin spun one revolution and dropped onto the ground, and that was the last sound heard for a while.
Zhao Xin spent a while on the ground in disbelief prior to crawling to his feet. “Who… hit me…?”
Eyes on my hand, I mumbled, “I missed?” I looked up at Zhao Xin’s face and let another one rip.
Zhao Xin didn’t go down again, but his neck seemed stuck in the new position, and his lips were spastic. “Y-you…”
I looked back to my hand. “Damn, missed again.”
Fool me once, shame on you. Shame me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, yeah right. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake three times. I set my hand on Zhao Xin’s shoulder.
“What are you doing?! What are you doing?!” cried Zhao Xin.
“Hiya!”
I aimed thirty-plus shots precisely at the black dot on the left side of Zhao Xin’s face, yet the fly didn’t budge. I had picked up the flower vase by the side to smash it when he yelled, “This is a mole!”
“Huh?”
Why didn’t you say so sooner? What a waste of my energy.
“Are all of you dead? Help me out here!”
The dunces Zhao Xin brought along finally reacted. “Oh, right, right.”
Perhaps their clumsiness was a product of their exasperation, but they released him all at the same time once they had pulled him over, dropping him onto the ground. Instead of taking it out on them, however, he turned to me and yelled, “How dare you hit me? … How dare you, hmm? Hong Jiu!!”
Hong Jiu: “You called?”
“Not you, Hong Jiu!”
Wu Dayong scratched his head. “What the hell is he on about? Zhou Teng, you following?”
“What’s so hard to understand? You don’t understand Mandarin? ‘Hong jiu’, red wine. Red wine is an alcoholic beverage in the Western Regions made from grape varieties. They’re obviously talking about alcohol.”
Everyone confused: “Oooh.”
“I’m talking about this guy!” Zhao Xin pointed at me and exclaimed. “You knocked me into the pond, stole from me and just assaulted me! This isn’t over! Wait… Give it back!”
Oh, crud… Isn’t your father a general?! You’re going to make a big fuss over three thousand taels?
I was mid-rant in my head when someone burst onto the scene without a sound.
“Zhao Xin, is he the one you were talking about?”
“Master Qi? Why did you not help me if you were around?”
“Who do you think you are to order me around?” Master Qi demanded, “Answer the question.”
Zhao Xin went to smirk, only to give himself a sharp shot of pain. “It’s him! Kill him, Master Qi!”
Master Qi cast his gaze up to me. “This one should not be so impolite on our first meeting, but he is under orders, so he must make demands of you and… bash you.”
I shook my head in a condescending manner. “You’re a decent martial artist, but defeating me? You’re too naïve.”
My classmates’ eyes brimmed with admiration for my heroism, skill and good looks.
“Oh, is that so? Let’s put that assumption to the test, then!” Master Qi uncorked a straight palm toward me.
“Hmph.” I pivoted and ran like a bat out of hell. “Second! Second! Help! Help!”
As soon as we passed each other, Hong Jiu intercepted Master Qi’s strike. Judging from the fact that they both went for each other’s vitals, I supposed they had already exchanged blows once. Master Qi’s entrance told me he was pretty good, but fighting on equal footing with Second wasn’t something I imagined. When Master Qi suddenly whispered something, Second yelled, “Not now!” His moment of distraction opened him up to Master Qi’s hook kick.
“Second, what’s your problem? Come on, man. Are you really going to lose?”
“Leader, there is a reason f-”
“Shut up. Let me.”
“Whoa, are you sure?” Switching a soft voice, Hong Jiu asked, “You still want to fight when you can’t use your skills?”
“Who said I’m fighting?”
“Did you not just s-”
“I was saying I would teach you how to fight.” I pushed Hong Jiu back to the battlefield. “I have to show him what I can do. He has no idea who Three-Eyed Horse Lord is. Second, follow my instructions.”
“Oh, Yesu Sir!” Hong Jiu promptly got into his stance.
“Deep inhalation first.”
“Roger.”
“And then blast him with The Proud Dragon Repents!”
“Try this, ‘The Proud Dragon Rep-, wait. Leader. I can’t use palm skills, or I might reveal my identity. Besides, I haven’t even mastered that technique.”
He had a point. If his identity was exposed, I also needed to find a new hiding spot.
“All right. In that case, The Twin Dragons Fetch Water! Summer Flowing Fireflies! Full Speed Ahead! Now, Cyclical Wind Blast!”
The two disengaged following a few exchanges, staying out of a blade’s reach. Hong Jiu bound forward again, forcing Master Qi to perform a clumsy evasion manoeuvre.
You couldn’t say Hong Jiu wasn’t gifted when he could string together the tricky combo I made up.
“And now the deciding exchange, Tai Chi Limitless Push.”
Hong Jiu trapped using his left hand and locked using his right to push Master Qi’s hands away.
“Finish with ‘Tiger Claw Steals the Heart’!”
Hong Jiu seized Master Qi’s chest with one hand and then stopped for some reason.
A girl’s squeal shut down Hong Jiu’s mind, and, before he could recompose himself, he took a slap flush on his cheek.
Glossary
Hong Jiu and red wine – Same pronunciation.
Three-Eyed Horse Lord – A god in Chinese folklore and Taoist mythology.
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