Woman, I Challenge You
“Sister, I understand what he means. Let me explain.” At the end of the day, Lan Kelan wasn’t involved in the story, so she could see things from an outsider’s perspective. Plus, she had overheard the maidens of Liu Shan Men discussing things between men and women recently, so she wasn’t as dull as her colleagues.
Red Prince was grateful to have someone understand him and whisper into Ming Suwen’s ear for his sake. At least, that was until he heard Ming Suwen voice, “Oh… Oh… Oh… Ew. Scumbag.”
“How am I a scumbag?!”
Ming Suwen massaged her sore ears: “I get it now. You were sending betrothal gifts, correct?”
Technically, she was right. Technically, she was also not right. Hence, Red Prince was stumped.
“We first met at Dai Youming’s place, didn’t we? You posed as your own subordinate. We’ve never met before or since, let alone spoken. What gives you any right to send all those gifts to Liu Shan Men and discuss marriage? Just because you’re a Prince? You think we’re powerless women and pushovers? What? You can toss us some money and take one of us as your wife without our permission if you fancy? I heard you were good with a sword, but I didn’t think they meant good with the sword between your legs. Yinghua, see that? That is the definition of scum.”
Chu Yinghua affirmatively nodded: “I shall take a detour if I ever see his kind in the future.”
Livid, Red Prince pointed at Ming Suwen and declared, “Woman, I challenge you!”
Ming Suwen shrugged: “I refuse.”
“Why?!”
“Why should I? I’ll be upset if I lose, and I don’t gain anything from winning. Measuring your worth based on brawn is something only you egotistical men do. I’m just an innocent, poor girl. I’m not taking part.”
Administrator whispered, “Your Highness, we are embarrassing ourselves…”
“What’s there to be afraid of? Where were we…?” Stuck, Red Prince fell back onto his specialty to avoid playing further into Ming Suwen’s traps. He unsheathed his sword from his waist and asserted, “As a fellow martial artist, I challenge you to a duel. If I defeat you, you must do as I ask. Wh-what do you say?” The man’s face was so red it was as if he needed to strangle the words out of his throat.
Ming Suwen’s eyes wandered around Red Prince as she contemplated the offer and then cracked a grin. “Sure, fine by me.” Just as Red Prince went to lift up the corners of his lips, she added, “If you lose, though” – Ming Suwen pointed to Administrator – “you have to marry him, deal?”
“Why should I have to marry him?!”
“Why should we accept your betrothal gifts, then?”
“He… He’s a man.”
“So are you.”
“That’s nonsense! Why should I marry a man?!” Red Prince turned around to his innocent administrator, curling his lips. “And he’s an old man!”
“Isn’t that fine?” Ming Suwen preached, “If you want an inch, you must give an inch. See, you are forcing a maiden to marry a man she doesn’t like, so you also need to compete whilst carrying the burden of marrying a man you don’t like to be fair, true?”
“Y-you’re a woman; you’re supposed to marry a man! Men aren’t supposed to marry men! The risk is not equal.”
“You have a point.” Ming Suwen flicked up a thumb and then hugged Chu Yinghua around the waist.
“S-Sister, what are you doing?!” cried Chu Yinghua, face as red as a tomato.
Ming Suwen lifted Chu Yinghua’s chin with a finger. “If I lose, I shall marry Yinghua. How’s that?”
Female constables: “Eh?!”
Lan Kelan was the only one biting her handkerchief, disillusioned with herself for not stepping up faster to take Chu Yinghua’s spot.
“What nonsense is this now…? I… You… We… I’m an upright man.”
“What? An upright man suits an upright man?”
Utterly defeated, Red Prince hurdled over the verbal warfare part.“Do you accept the challenge or not?”
“Well, that depends if you’re going to marry him or not.”
“You accept if I do?”
“You do if I accept.”
“Deal! In short if you lose to me, th-”
“In short, if you lose to me, you will marry the elder.”
“Deal!”
“Seal it with a high five!”
“Wait!” cried Administrator. “We can talk this out! Do not be rash!”
Why are you two dragging me into your argument?! Who did I ever offend?!
Glossary
“I heard you were good with a sword, but I didn’t think they meant good with the sword between your legs.” – Same homophone insult as last chapter rewritten. The literal version is closer to, “I heard you liked swords, but I didn’t expect you to actually be a scoundrel.”
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