Red Samuume under the Alps
“While this one was playing go with Earth Lord, he suddenly sensed evil qi rising into the firmament in the southeast of Shenzhou, warning us of an imminent calamity. This one sped through the night immediately. This one owes it to his grandmaster’s blessing that his skills have not deteriorated, allowing him to make it in time.”
Doctor Luo, fed up, assumed his duty as a senior and doctor, warning with closed fists, “Who is this mad man? Have you any idea this is Luo Sword Manor’s young master? Watch what you say, or you will regret it.”
Luo Siming’s silence was the tacit approval for those present to do as they saw fit. Therefore, the general manager boldly brayed, “You going to get lost yet, or do I have to make you?!”
Despite the threats, Reverend Zha’s mind was as calm as still water: “This one recognises this young man and yourself. This one has no issue taking you up on the offer to guide him out; however, the bed-ridden maiden may not see another day.”
“Enough of your nonsensical prattling. Get out!”
“Wait,” Luo Siming interrupted. “How did you know I summoned you all here for a maiden?”
The guest rooms at the estate weren’t designed accordingly for men nor women, neither was Shen Yiren sleeping on the bed visible from the angle they stood.
“Haha,” – Reverend Zha flicked his whisk, albeit lacking any internal energy and so slow that Luo Siming didn’t even need to concentrate to see his movements – “Young Master, this one did tell you destiny brought him here to meet you. Destiny has chosen this one to resolve your woe. You must not question the heavens, Young master.”
Since Reverend Zha sounded sincere, Luo Siming responded in kind, conveying, “This one is not discrediting you; however, your claims are rather too sensationalised to compel us to believe you. This one has never heard of anything you have mentioned. Please forgive him, but this one cannot believe you solely based on your claims.”
“Haha, that is nothing hard to prove. May this one ask if a maiden is on the bed behind you?”
“You have already mentioned that. Though this one brought her back in a carriage, people saw his carriage, while she was unconscious. That does not do justice to your proclaimed abilities.”
“In that case, let this one mention things he has yet to mention.” Stroking his beard and fanning himself with his whisk, Reverend Zha continued, “The unconscious maiden was not possessed, is not ill or poisoned but a victim of grave internal injuries. Is that correct?”
“This one was not done,” interjected Reverend Zha, gesturing for Luo Siming not to interrupt. “Although you are anxiously searching for someone who can nurse her back to health and care dearly for you, you two are not acquainted, correct?”
“… You are correct. This one, indeed, only met her today.”
“This one is glad to hear his divination skills have not rusted after having not employed them for eighty years,” expressed Reverend Zha, gazing to the roof as he reminisced divine times with an old friend.
“Voodoo tricks cannot be used as an objective measure of anything,” wrangled Doctor Luo. “Keep the busking tricks back on the streets where they belong. As a chivalrous young man, there is nothing surprising about my young master rescuing a hurt maiden. You could’ve been stalking my young master to harm him. It wouldn’t even be surprising given Canhu Town is now a den of villains. Since you’ve brazenly come here, we need to see if your fists are as tough as your skin.”
Even though Reverend Zha lacked the physical attributes of an adept pugilist and there were plenty of conmen out in the pugilistic world, Luo Siming couldn’t hide his surprise.
Reverend Zha sighed: “It appears you refuse to believe this one. There is nothing he can offer, in that case.”
By this point, everyone expected Reverend Zha to then follow up with another outlandish quote that they could turn into a joke.
“This one will have to mention things nobody present is privy to, then. Though this may come as a shock, the circumstances necessitate it.” Reverend Zha started counting off on his fingers, brows contracted as he recited something under his breath. Unlocking his brows, he announced, “This one needs not to see or to touch. This one can diagnose the maiden from here with his fingers.”
Doctor Luo scoffed, “What a joke. Without even having to put on your little finger façade, this old one can tell she is hurt severely and has her meridians sealed just from listening. Her injuries are most likely the product of attacks she absorbed during her scuffle with an adept. If you don’t know any more than I do, you should quit while you’re ahead, lest you embarrass yourself.”
Elder Doctor sure lives up to his reputation.
Reverend Zha wryly tugged up the corner of his lips: “You certainly possess great listening abilities, Doctor Luo. Would you happen to be able to hear…. the barely visible, cinnabar red mole in the shape of a samuume under her breasts?”
Invoking astonishment with his unprecedented revelation in the field of divination, Reverend Zha advised, “You can ask the maiden with you to verify if you do not believe this one.”
Receiving the eye signal from Luo Siming, Ao Xue nodded and then pulled the curtains to cover her and Shen Yiren. The messy sleeper, who had parts of her body exposed, left Ao Xue thinking, “She truly is gorgeous. I never knew a woman could look so good sleeping.”
Ao Xue gently moved aside Shen Yiren’s undershirt, but it wasn’t enough for her to get inside for a look because Shen Yiren’s assets were pressed up against the material. As such, Ao Xue had to undo the string on the back and out sprung – literally – two snowy mountains.
Wh-what does she eat to grow them so large…? She must’ve been frowning in her sleep because of how tight the clothing was.
“Ao Xue, have you checked?” Luo Siming hollered.
“… Your subject is checking.”
Ao Xue mustered up determination to face the mountains that reminded her of her own inadequacy to complete her mission. She was going to call it quits after a glance; howbeit, recalling Reverend Zha mention it was barely visible, Ao Xue decided to get her hands under them for a more detailed inspection.
Ao Xue softly gasped upon grabbing Shen Yiren’s globes.
Since it’s not in the middle, the only other place is… I knew it. It’s right there under her sternum.
“Reverend Zhao is correct,” reported Ao Xue.
The cat caught Doctor Luo’s tongue. Luo Siming gave Reverend Zha a hold-fist salute: “Please excuse Siming for his ignorance, Reverend.”
“Those who do not know cannot be blamed, hahaha,” responded Reverend Zha, thinking, “That was close! Had Big Bro not told me Vice-Captain has a red spot on her breast and lady luck thrown me these dunces, I’d have my face rearranged by now. You all better compensate this reverend, you hear?!”
Samuume – Is used as a symbol of justice as well as joy, bliss, a long life, luck, friendship, chivalry and peace.