Royal Edict for Kucha. Running at the Sight of It.
Everything can be beaten…
Except brown nosing.
Every time Jing Wangsun opened his mouth, it was “Big Brother Wang.”
If they were to consider seniority from Jin Wangsun’s father onward, Wang Xiongqiao is Jin Wangsun’s senior. However, Jin Wangsun is the reigning master of Gold and Silver Sect. That is a prestigious status, so for him to continually address him as a big brother, Wang Xiongqiao had to accept or he’d look petty.
The injury Old Master Xie suffered wasn’t severe. His worse ailment was actually expending too much internal energy and having his hair pulled out. He needed to recuperate for a few days, as well as have his grandchildren surround him and comfort him daily. It wasn’t so bad that he needed to hold a grudge for it.
However, Wang Xiongqiao formed preconceptions of Jin Wangsun based on the rumours about him riding a horse in the Capital and acting as a tyrant. He believed Jin Wangsun to be a man that disregarded the law and even dared to disregard the Dark Robe Brotherhood. He couldn’t contain his anger, and hence, wanted to give him a lesson. He honestly didn’t think that Jin Wangsun had achieved such a high degree of proficiency in martial arts and wasn’t as lowly as he imagined. As a member of a renowned clan, Wang Xiongqiao knew very well the importance of a friend.
Jing Wangsun was a young master of a sect that was part of the Seven Champion White Princes. If Gold and Silver Sect allied with the Wang and Xie families, it would only benefit them. After getting to know him better, Wang Xiongqiao became a lot more courteous with him.
Wang Xiongqiao anger had been slightly soothed. He cleared his throat and said, “Master Jin, you possess vast knowledge of martial arts. I am greatly impressed.”
“Please do not say that. You are a senior in the martial world. Wangsun still has a lot to learn from you. Dark Robe Brotherhood is also a member of the Seven Champion White Princes just as Gold and Silver Sect is. Dark Robe Brotherhood has a long standing history and is our senior, so we should be learning from you.”
Jin Wangsun mentioned a key point. As such, Wang Xiongqiao had no choice but to respond humbly, “You are too modest, Master Jin. Gold and Silver Sect is among the wealthiest in the world and possesses a vast array of martial arts. My Dark Robe Brotherhood disciples are busy with work and focus very little on martial arts. That Empty Palms move of yours just now, as well as the movement art you used to counter me are truly rare skills to behold. I would say that you’re more skilled than the former master. It should be I, who learns from you.”
“You are being too distant, Brother Wang. We should just address each other as bothers. There is no need to be calling each other Master this and Master that. It makes us feel like strangers.”
“Hmm…” While Wang Xiongqiao is an elder of the Dark Robe Brotherhood, he is far from a leader post in the Seven Champion White Princes. It wasn’t hard for him to fight as he just did, but he was somewhat scared of striking up relationships, “In that case, umm, Brother Dagang, I hope you look after me henceforth.”
“Who you calling Big Vat?!!!”
‘If I wasn’t holding my snapped belt together, I’d give you a spinning slap!!’
Jin Wangsun almost passed out from anger. Besides his reputation of being a tyrant rapidly circulating within three days of coming to the Capital, he also managed to earn himself the nickname, ‘Big Golden Vat.’ After circulating around for some time, people actually began to say his surname was Jin, named Wangsun, and courtesy name was Dagang, meaning ‘Big Vat!’
Seriously, he was furious.
‘It’s all because of that blather mouth, Ming Feizhen, giving me a nickname from his ass!’
‘Also, you’re a bastard Wang Xiongqiao! I can’t believe you couldn’t tell!’
However, it took a lot of effort to get friendly with him. Jin Wangsun wasn’t going to shoot himself in the foot, so he maintained his refined smile.
“My courtesy name is Kucha, Ku character for dry leaves, and Cha character for tea. We feel as though we’re old friends, despite our first meeting. Your devotion and dedication to researching martial arts impresses me. As brothers, we should get to know each other better.”
Wang Xiongqiao didn’t dare to address him by his full name, so it was, indeed, more appropriate to address him by his courtesy name, “Brother Kucha, besides coming here today to… erm, exchange pointers with you, this stupid brother of yours also came to send you an edict on behalf of His Majesty.”
The Emperor never mentioned his mistakes. All he did was have him grounded at home. Jin Wangsun didn’t expect Wang Xiongqiao to bring a royal edict today. He suddenly felt perturbed. He injured the Elder Statesman. Everybody was from the martial world, so they went about according to the rules of the martial world, and thus, could also resolve the incident according to the rules of the martial world. However, injuring the Emperor couldn’t just be brushed off. He was fine with any punishment, but not something that would impact his marriage to the Princess.
“Brother Kucha, do not think that I was by coming after you using my powerful connections. I attacked you with His Majesty’s permission. His Majesty once said that you could forget the marriage if you couldn’t defeat me. Therefore, you can celebrate. Had it not been for your splendid martial arts skills, I wouldn’t be able to hand you this royal edict.”
Wang Xiongqiao took out a yellow edict. He held it out on his palms and respectfully said, “His Majesty’s royal edict is here.”
“Your subject shall accept your edict.”
“Date, Jin Wangsun displayed disorderly conduct, colluded with sects at sea and the perverted devil, Zhong Ning.”
“Zhong Ning? I did no such thing!”
Jin Wangsun raised his head with disbelief. Wang Xiongqiao frowned and raged, “The edict has yet to be fully read. How dare thou raise thy head?!”
Jin Wangsun had to reluctantly lower his head.
“Fortunately, you avoided a mistake thanks to Constable Ming Feizhen. According to Constable Ming’s investigation’s, Jin Wangsun lusted for the Princess’ beauty and asked Zhong Ning to knock the Princess unconscious before commanding him to lure the pirates to the Elder Statesmen, leading to a conflict.”
‘Ming Feizhen! You son of a fucking bitch! How dare you frame me, like this!’
A flame was lit in Jin Wangsun’s eyes. He was so outraged that he wanted to gnaw Ming Feizhen’s head off.
Wang Xiongqiao carried on, “Jin Wangsun caused the injury of royal family members, and thus, should be punished. However, out of consideration of it being his first offence, in addition to his special identity, his crime may be pardoned with a financial punishment of… Fifty thousand taels.
‘What?! Fifty thousand taels?!’
Initially, Jin Wangsun was somewhat relieved to hear that the Emperor was willing to drop the matter for some financial reimbursement, but the number nearly made him jump up. He exclaimed to himself, “Your Majesty, I heard that you only needed to roll two eggs over your wound to heal it!! Damned money monger! A little beating and you penalise me fifty thousand taels?! You’re making me your national treasury!”
“Next is His Majesty’s oral edict.”
While he said it was an oral edict, it was actually written down. Wang Xiongqiao cleared his throat and read it out, “Jin Wangsun, I know that you have your reasons for your domineering behaviour. Your motivation may not have been to commit a major sin, but you struck the bee’s hive this time. You dared to hit the Elder Statesman. You have gone too far. I refrained from shaming you in public out of respect for your father. After paying the sum you are penalised, you are to reflect on yourself. Stay at your estate and reflect. You are not to take a single step out of the estate before I give you permission to, and you are not to do anything harmful to the Princess; otherwise, I will have your head, regardless of whether you’re Jin Wangsun or Yin Wangsun!”
The Emperor’s oral edicts are never formal, but spoken in such a tone. He was rarely ever this stern, which goes to show that he was very angry about him hurting the Elder Statesman.
Jin Wangsun was initially unhappy about the monetary penalty, but after hearing the Emperor’s tone, he changed his mind and felt that fifty thousand tales wasn’t much.
“However, you may rest assured. As long as you do not have crooked thoughts, I shall continue pat your head the same way I pat a dog. As for your marriage request, I have already made it clear long ago. Princess Hongzhuang belongs to the victor of the Imperial Martial Arts Tournament, Ming Feizhen. But nevertheless, out of consideration of old friendships and the painting you painted for Hongzhuang, which reflected the sincerity of your love, I shall allow you two to have a fair chance to compete for her. I have three tests for you two. You will compete at the banquet on the night prior to New Year’s Eve.”
Jin Wangsun was delighted beyond words. Despite the Emperor saying so much, he didn’t give up on him. This sort of conclusion is also very reasonable.
‘His Majesty even wants to extort fifty thousand silver taels from me, so there’s no way I can’t budge him with territory from the Seven Champion White Princes.’
Next, the contents of the test topics were read out.
Upon hearing the three topics to be tested on, Jin Wangsun was even more elated. The tests were a walk in a park for him. It was essentially a free win for him. Victory was already in the bag for him! He swiftly and respectfully accepted the edict and then took another two looks at it. He treated it as a treasure and held it to his chest after confirming the contents.
“Brother Wang, the edict has been fully read. Allow this brother of yours to treat you to a meal. How about having a meal at my humble dwelling?”
While he referred to it as a humble dwelling, this estate of Jin Wangsun’s was actually considerably larger than Wang Xiongqiao’s home. The chef was also a renowned chef, so the meal would be amazing, without a doubt. More importantly, this was a good opportunity for Dark Robe Brotherhood and Gold and Silver Sect to form a friendship.
Nevertheless, Wang Xiongqiao silently shook his head. He looked pale when he replied, “A-Another day. Let’s do it another day. I have to get going now.”
“Eh? Don’t go.” After putting the edict away properly, Jin Wangsun tried to keep him in a confused tone, “You came in such a rush. I can’t let you leave empty handed. Men! Bring a gift.”
Who would’ve thought that Wang Xiongqiao would shake his head again, “No, no, no, I shall leave empty handing. It’s cleaner that way. Uh, B-Brother K-Kucha, I’ll be taking my leave now.”
“What do you mean clean? Also, you pronounced my name incorrectly.”
Jin Wangsun couldn’t make sense of what he was saying.
‘Nothing he said connected, yet the Emperor had him bring an edict to read out. What a laughable matter.’
But then once he laughed, he suddenly felt a cold breeze blow past. He felt the breeze brush past between his legs. He possessed profound internal strength, so he rarely ever felt the cold.
‘What’s with me today? Am I tired?’
The cold wind passed through his two sturdy legs, leading to one imagining the sight of a forest without boundaries with a small creek twisting and turning – Jin Wangsun’s pants fell down, revealing his white pants with golden threads on them.
Jin Wangsun panicked, “Fuck! I took the edict with two hands, so I couldn’t hold up my pants!!”
Wang Xiongqiao was more flustered than he was. Wang Xiongqiao ran from the man he considered a sick a creep that goes for men and women as fast as his legs could take him.
One’s chastity is more important than a future ally!
“Wait, Brother Wang! Wait! I can explain! Somebody sneak attacked me! My belt snapped! Come back!”
“Sure, sure, sure, I’m off first, Brother Kucha.”
“Wait! You pronounced my name wrong! My name isn’t Kucha! Hey! Hey! We can discuss anything, what are you running f(or), fuck! Somebody bring me a new belt! How am I supposed to chase after him in these loose pants?! Hey! Don’t go!”
After the event, the denizens of the Capital finally got Jin Wangsun’s courtesy name right. His courtesy name wasn’t Dagang, meaning big vat. His surname was Jin, and his name was Wangsun, courtesy name, Kucha, meaning pants.
A few days later, a beggar calling himself Master Eighteen heard these names from somewhere and made a nursery rhyme out of it that the kids sang all over the streets.
Take a look at just one street and there’d be a number of kids singing:
Kucha, Kucha, Jin Clan has a size large pair of pants,
He paints and trains with his sabre at home. Besides stealing, he robs.
Don’t laugh and don’t panic, Kucha’s name is Dagang.
The vat goes “gong,” the vat goes “shine,” Jin Clan’s vat knows how to make braids with hair…
Current time, the precious big vat was drowning in sorrow. All he could do was stay at home and shout, “It’s Kucha!!”
But, nobody knew.
Outside of Jin Wangsun’s estate, a captivating dark silhouette that resembled the female deities in stories, gently landed on an old tree branch. Her small cat-like white feet stepped on the branch. Her feet were slender and white. The branch bent down just a little and then sprung back up. Underneath the maiden’s captivating slender waist, was a pair of straight and slender legs wrapped in her pants. A breeze blew. Despite wearing a dress, one could still see the outlines of her soft and ample thighs as if they were naked.
A light shining through between the trees fell on her white robe as it fluttered in the wind.
She revealed a mischievous smiled and left swiftly like the wind.
*Jin = Gold, Yin = Silver, so while rhyming, the Emperor saying, “…I will have your head, regardless of whether you’re Jin Wangsun or Yin Wangsun,” was also to reference Gold and Silver Sect.
**His name is Kucha (literally, Dry Tea), but when Wang Xiongqiao was talking about leaving clean, he pronounced them with a different set of tones, turning the ‘Dry Tea,’ into ‘pants’.