Martial King’s Retired Life – Vol. 4 Ch. 18



Editor: Areth Kyntaul

 

An Emperor, A Vassal and A Golden Vat

I understood what His Machesty meant. He didn’t like Jin Wangsun.

Strictly speaking, His Machesty could accept him, given his background and his family’s history with His Machesty’s. However, he has a poor reputation. He even angered gods, monks and ghosts on his way to the capital.

His Machesty is aware that Princess Hongzhuang hates evil with a vengeance, so the two of them will be literally at war with each other. Hence, His Machesty wanted to see if he could find out Jin Wangsun’s true character, with the victor of the Imperial Martial Arts Tournament.

If Tang Ye and company could easily defeat him, then he was naturally daydreaming. If he could overcome the test, then His Machesty would seriously consider betrothing his daughter to him.

I had a long conversation with His Machesty. Once we were done, a group of guards stood all around him as we followed him back to Jinluan Hall.

Her Majesty seemed to be uninterested in the discussions in the hall, and therefore, had left by the time we returned.

The vassals saw that I followed behind the emperor into the hall, with both of us wearing sly smiles. We looked exactly like a tyrant and a sly vassal. Many high-ranking vassals revealed displeased looks.

One of the people who stared at me was Assistant Manager Zhang.

He muttered, “What did he do to manage to get so close to the emperor in such a short time period?”

Another high-ranking official watched me vigilantly, “Amazing ass-kissing arts. The rising young generation is a force to be reckoned with.”

Everybody started talking about me.

Only the old Prime Minister, twirling his white beard with his fingers with his eyes slightly shut, suddenly opened them. He looked at me as if I was a demon that brought ruin to the nation, “Don’t tell me the man is gay and satisfied His Majesty’s wish. He’s a demon from the heavens! He’s a demon from the heavens!”

‘Fuck me! You came from a Taoist temple, didn’t you, gramps?! Is it really all right for you to spout nonsense like this in front of everybody?! Also, stop staring at my ass! Nothing happened just now!!!’

The emperor cleared his throat and then waved his hand, “It was nothing. It was nothing. We just discussed some private matters. The end of the year is coming, so I had a few things for Minister Ming to buy. Minister Ming, you understand, right?”

I nodded with big head movements, “I do. I do. I do. I understand very well.”

The old Prime Minister who had muttered about the gay talk suddenly revealed an understanding smile…

‘Sir, we need to have a good talk after this!!’

The emperor smiled, after he finished listening. He then looked in Princess Hongzhuang’s direction and nodded.

Princess Hongzhuang was usually hearty and valiant, but she couldn’t stop herself from going a little red in the face this time. She looked as though she was drunk. That look of hers was captivating.

“All right, let’s put aside the trivial talk and talk about Jing Wangsun’s matter, again. I have an idea now.”

The vassals looked at the emperor and thought, ‘He’s on a roll today.’

They argued back and forth for over twenty days, yet still couldn’t reach a conclusion in the past. But the emperor was able to think things through in less than an hour when he was faced with a difficult situation, today.

“Call Jing Wangsun in.”

Bai Lian called out loudly, “Please invite the master of the Gold and Silver Sect.”

The Seven Champion White Princes have been in Jiangnan for a long time. They are on equal footing with princes, as they have their own territory. Therefore, they had to use ‘please invite’ when calling for Jin Wangsun.

But it was strange; nobody came in after waiting for a while.

We stood there and waited for almost ninety minutes. General Manager Bai was about to lose her voice calling for him, but he still hadn’t come.

Not even the person who went to invite him came back.

The emperor got irritated, “What’s going on? Why is Jin Wangsun trying to act up? Is he trying to face-slap me in front of all my vassals? Men! Send more men to go and invite him.”

Before he could finish, someone from outside shouted, “Master Jin has arrived!”

However, all we saw was eight people pushing and carrying in a large golden zongzi.

I had a good look before I realised it wasn’t a zongzi, but an iron jar. Upon closer inspection, I realised it was the big iron vat which had been placed in the plaza to be used as a pot for plants!

The exterior was coated with a gold paint, making it look majestic. I saw lots of these when I was on guard duty at the Imperial Palace.

‘But what did they carry this thing here for?’

Somebody, sounding humiliated, then suddenly spoke out, “Jin Wangsun… H-Humbly greets you, Your Majesty.”

‘The golden zongzi spoke!’

The way he suddenly spoke out gave me a fright, so I blurted, “Whoa, the zongzi came to life.”

Bai Lian and Princess Hongzhuang couldn’t help themselves from laughing.

‘Thank you for your patronage, two great beauties!’

After I said that and seemingly when the princess was laughing, I felt a cold gaze shoot over to me.

It came from the zongzi… There was somebody inside of the iron vat, but only his head was revealed. Like a groundhog hiding in the fields, he poked his head out to look at me.

‘That’s the current master of the Gold and Silver Sect, Jin Wangsun? Damn, I feel bad for you, Old Jin.’

Jin Wangsun didn’t look light, and the iron vat wasn’t light, either.

‘No wonder the person who had gone to get him had not come back. They needed eight people to push him over to the hall.’

I ignored his hateful gaze and casually scanned the big golden zongzi.

The vat was intended for holding plants, so the opening was very narrow. Specifically, it was half of his shoulder width. As a result, just about only his head was exposed. His arms and legs were inside the vat, so, naturally, he couldn’t extend them.

‘He should be very skilled since he has inherited the Gold and Silver Sect master’s seat. However, probably only his father would be able to destroy that iron vat with just his internal energy alone. And even then, he would barely manage it. Unfortunately, Jin Wangsun is young, so he’d need a weapon to pull it off.’ The interior of the vat wasn’t spacious, so he probably can’t move his hands and feet.

The emperor’s anger completely vanished when he saw him. He was amused but also bewildered, “Wangsun, What… are you doing? Why did you go into the vat?”

One of Jin Wangsun’s servants, who had followed him, aggressively and angrily replied, “Your Majesty, my young master, he…”

“Shut up!” Jin Wangsun was physically incapacitated in a vat, but he maintained a firmed attitude, nevertheless. One loud command from him and his servant didn’t dare to make a peep.

The big golden zongzi continued reproaching him, “We are at Jinluan Hall. Who are you to be speaking up in front of His Majesty? Get lost!”

The servant had no choice but to submissively bow apologetically to the emperor and then exit the hall.

Once the big golden zongzi finished reprimanding his servant, he regained his composure and moved the only body part he could move; his neck.

He wasn’t placed inside straight on, so he had to turn to face the emperor when he spoke. He twisted his neck over and with a serious look replied, “Wangsun rushed here. The journey was tiring, and thus Wangsun sought out a place to rest.”

“Oh?” The emperor narrowed his eyes, as he struggled to comprehend Jin Wangsun, “You used a vat to rest in?”

The big golden zongzi remained cool as a cucumber. He nodded and replied, “Yes. The vat… is comfortable.”

‘Shit! A vat is comfortable, he says!’

“…”

His Machesty was astonished.

‘There are people who like sleeping in kettles?’

At the same time all this was going on, Princess Hongzhuang revealed an unprecedented look of disgust.

‘Princess, I have nothing but sympathy for you. Who would’ve ever imagined your future husband prefers vats over chairs?’

‘Additionally, my conjecture is that Brother Zongzi didn’t go legs first before sitting down slowly. It looks like he jumped in ass first and then squeezed his limbs in.’

What was very interesting was that his shoulders couldn’t fit in, but his entire body squeezed in.

‘Bro, that’s some incredible skill! Just what on Earth did you do to lock yourself inside that vat? It’s as if somebody with profound internal strength used a palm strike to smash you into it.’

I glanced over at Su Xiao and Tang Ye before looking at His Machesty again, and I revealed a disappointed expression.

I was waiting for the Fuma show.

Well, great. I’m afraid there’s going to be some changes to the program, now that this big golden zongzi has gone and pulled this stunt.

His Machesty would never betroth his daughter to him now, even if the thought did cross his mind before.

Otherwise, His Machesty would have a son in law everybody calls “Jin Dagang”.

Glossary

*Jin Wangsun’s surname is written 金 which means gold. Therefore, Ming Feizhen refers to him as Jin Dagang  a.k.a. the vat is gold, so he’s calling him “Big Golden Vat”.

**For anybody who has forgotten, a zongzi is a traditional Chinese food made of glutinous rice stuffed with different fillings and wrapped in bamboo, reed, or other large flat leaves.

 

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