Martial King’s Retired Life – Vol. 2 Ch. 48



An Actor Prepares

The two of them froze up. What’s Ming Feizhen up to now?

“Apologise.”

But Ming Feizhen just repeated the same thing.

“The two of you, apologise!”

Ming Feizhen’s gaze was firm and his tone was stern. He was like a public servant with a strong sense of justice that had captured countless bandit leaders as he spoke while wearing the look of one who was upholding justice on behalf of the heavens.

“What’s wrong, Big Brother Ming? … Are you angry, Big Brother Ming?” Su Xiao’s heart beat quickly. He never intended to make Ming Feizhen unhappy. Ming Feizhen was usually generous and tolerant, but he must’ve hit a nerve today.

Ming Feizhen widened his eyes and shouted: “Apologise!”

“Okay, okay!” Su Xiao glared at him and involuntarily said: “I’ll apologise, okay?”

Bai Ling who had never seen Ming Feizhen serious before slightly panicked and said: “Alright, Ming Feizhen. I too shall apologise for your sake.”

As soon as Su Xiao noticed Bai Ling’s crafty gaze, he immediately said: “Allow me to speak first. I was wrong to say that your nose is flat, your mouth is ugly and that you’re a damned midget-eunuch. I’m sorry. Are we good now?”

“I’m the one in the wrong.” Bai Ling suppressed her anger, clenched her teeth and said: “You tiny-eyed, puny-eared, flat-chest-bitch, I’m sorry, okay?!”

“Y-Y-You!” Su Xiao pointed at Bai Ling, and just as he was about to fire back at her, Ming Feizhen shouted: “Shut up!”

Su Xiao pursed his lips, shifted his small mouth to the side and nearly cried.

Ming Feizhen then continued: “Who told you to apologise to each other?”

The two of them exchanged glances and then looked back at the serious Ming Feizhen. Bewildered as can be, they asked: “What were you referring to then?”

“I wasn’t telling you to apologise to each other!” Ming Feizhen then pointed to the ground, “And not me either. I was telling you to apologise to the three pears on the ground!”

“Pears?”

“Huh?”

General Manager Bai knocked one down, Su Xiao knocked another, and one of them knocked another down during their argument just now, although the culprit is unknown. The three pears rolled on the ground and were now lying there on the ground.

But pears?

So he got mad because of the three pears?

Su Xiao grumbled: “This isn’t braised pork shoulders in soy sauce, so what are you acting so serious for? Moreover, I’ve knocked your braised pork shoulders in soy sauce over before but you didn’t get angry with me.”

Ming Feizhen grabbed his chest as if he couldn’t remember that memory: “I-I was okay until you mentioned it! The memory has come back to me now! I haven’t settled the score with you on that!! I was pissed for three months!”

Su Xiao innocently replied: “But we haven’t even known each other for three months. That happened only half a month ago.”

“That means that I’m going to continue being pissed for another two-and-a-half months!” Ming Feizhen stamped his feet and said: “Is that so hard to understand?”

“Yes. Why are you angry? It’s just a few pears and a plate of braised pork shoulders in soy sauce.”

“Just a few pears? Just a plate of braised pork shoulders in soy sauce?” Ming Feizhen looked like he got struck by lightning. He took three steps back and with his face completely pale, said: “Where is the justice in this? Is that something a human-being would say?! Su Xiao, I was wrong about you!”

Su Xiao was completely confused. His brain was filled with questions.

“What are you…? What you’re saying is… you’re constables, you know?” Bai Ling frowned slightly. “Confused” was written all over her beautiful small face : “What’s this Dong Po’s pork shoulders?  Are you talking about food?”

“Enough! How dare you look down on Dong Po’s meats?” Ming Feizhen waved his arm in a big circle and exclaimed: “Don’t you feel that you’ve let Liu Zi, Uncle Wang Er, Zhang Dagua, Young Miss Li, Zhao Old Si, He Hua and Cai Ping down?!”

“Who the hell are they?!”

“Dong Po Tavern’s chef and co., you violent people!”

“Aren’t you exaggerating too much now? It’s just a few pears!”

Bai Ling took a step back and asked Su Xiao: “Wh-What’s up with him? Is he usually like this?”

Su Xiao replied: “He’s not usually like this. But sometimes he has cramps.”

It was the first time the two witnessed what a food-fanatic was like when they lost it.

“Both of you, shut up!”

Ming Feizhen wore an angry expression. He rubbed his hands and walked over, step by step.

“Big Brother Ming, wh-what are you doing?”

“What are you trying to do?!”

Ming Feizhen grabbed their small crystal ears like grabbing chickens with eagle claw and pulled the uhh… two girls(?) over. Su Xiao’s ear lobe was like jade, completely smooth and soft, which felt great to the touch. Bai Ling’s ears were relatively elegant, but at the same time exquisite and beautiful. They felt like a treasure of a great artisan in one’s hands. Their sizes were just right. Ming Feizhen didn’t hurt them. He just used his gentle Yin inner strength to pull them over. With his qi creating friction on their ears, it felt like somebody was blowing hot air into their ears non-stop, creating a ticklish sensation all over their body.

“Stop! Stop! I’m sorry! Please don’t pull my ear.”

“Alright! Ow, stop pulling, it feels weird!”

What initially felt like a numb feeling turned into a terrifying feeling like their ears were going to be torn off the next instant, a feeling they both felt at the same time.

Ming Feizhen’s hands suddenly transformed into sharp objects like knives, like they could rip their snow-white ears off at any moment. That was because Ming Feizhen was using his qi essence. He sharpened his qi essence into a sharp form like a blade, but kept it in is sheath. However, they felt a chill by their ears as if something sharp was there.

Su Xiao and Bai Ling’s hearts thumped at the same time.

“N-No! I’m afraid of pain!”

“What did you put on my ear, Ming Feizhen?! Let go of me!”

His qi essence then returned to a gentle state again, making them feel like warm water was flowing into their ears. Their bodies turned to jelly and they trembled all over. After that, their voices became weak as mosquitos, and a tinge of pink appeared on their necks. Their entire body was like jelly and felt numb like countless hands were massaging their body.

“Ah… don’t. My ears… my ears feel so soft…..”

“You… you barbaric… bastard……”

The two of them reacted as if they were diagnosed with asthma. They felt the warm current on their ears become stronger. They couldn’t help but clench their teeth. They quivered all over and a drip of sweat on their forehead rolled down their gentle snow-white cheeks, down to their alluring red neck, gradually dow to their pink collar bone, and over that softer, higher spot, forming a tight collection of sweat. When their sweat reached that location, it was obvious their clothing was fairly soaked, and their snow-white backs were almost in plain sight.

Only when their ears had been rubbed to the point that they felt ridiculous by his damned large hands did Ming Feizhen finally say: “Next, I’m going to rip your ears off.” His qi essence changed dramatically, becoming sharp in nature again. What the two of them felt was like Ming Feizhen pressed a small knife up against their ear.

The two of them revealed terrified looks at the same time.

Just as they were about to speak, they discovered that their body was so weak they could only mutter under their breath.

Ming Feizhen shouted in a stern and righteous tone: “Apologise to the pears!!”

The two of them gave it everything they had to shout: “S-Sorry!! We’re sorry, pears! Big Brother Ming! Stop pinching me.”

“Ow, ow, I’m sorry! Stop pinching my ear! Sorry, pear!”

“Now that’s more like it.”

Ming Feizhen let go and the two of them reacted like all the energy in their body and lower back got drained away. They couldn’t straighten up their torso and dropped to the ground. If they weren’t leaning on each other’s backs, they’d have fallen asleep.

“The two of you better reflect on your actions!”

After he said that, he left the two who were arguing without a chance of surrender and walked off, leaving two speechless and drained beauties.

After an uncertain amount of time, Su Xiao recovered some of his strength. He suddenly said: “……. I-It’s all your fault. You smacked Big Brother Ming’s pear away.”

What Su Xiao said angered Bai Ling: “You were the one that smacked it!”

“I only smacked one away.”

“I only smacked one away too.”

“Hey! Why don’t you have the courage to own up to what you did?!” Bai Ling pat her face and continued, “You were the one that smacked the third pear away, weren’t you?”

“How could it have been me?!” Su Xiao shouted so loud the heavens could hear, “I didn’t even touch that pear. I never lie.”

“Really? Then who……”

Su Xiao and Bai Ling looked at each other blankly. They suddenly felt something was wrong and spoke out at the same time.

“Where’s Ming Feizhen?”

“Where’s Ming Feizhen?”

Ah, no, Ming Feizhen (Big Brother Ming) ran off!

The two beautiful young girls cried out in unison: “That bastard!!”

As soon as I passed the city gates, I sprinted off. Since I usually guard the small South gate, I can use the token on my belt to get into the imperial city. Unlike Tang Ye and the others, I don’t need to visit the office that manages eunuchs and maids to get permission.

I ran towards the plaza of the interior of the imperial city like the wind to rendezvous with Tang Ye. The show is about to start, so how can I be absent?

At the main plaza inside the imperial city were four tall towers with a stage erected higher than the four towers in the distance. On there were over twenty seats, with a dragon seat and phoenix seat situated in the centre. The two seats in the centre were obviously for the emperor and the empress. The other surroundings seats were needless to say for the royal family members.

There aren’t many members of the royal family in the capital. There are only two princes,  a few concubines and of course the princesses.

It was still early so there weren’t many people present. As for the competitors, everyone but Su Xiao and I were present.

There were thirty two people in the finals.

The one other than Su Xiao, Tang Ye and I who could make Liu Shan Men proud was Brother Bastard. He was present too!

He is the son of a reputable family, so his martial arts basics are profound. After Boss Shen’s arrangements, he got paired up with a guy weaker than even Yi Yixian who also made it into the finals. I couldn’t help but sigh…… Why couldn’t he have been paired up with my opponents? He would’ve been even safer if he fought that Brother Ren guy.

But the arrangements were fair. Since Brother Bastard got promoted, his opponent, Long Zaitian did too.

The two of them hold ranks which are close to each other after all, so they were standing together speaking right now. But all I could see was Brother Bastard getting bullied.

I scanned Long Zaitian with interest.

He still had his up-to-no-good smile as he ridiculed Brother Bastard. Every once in a while, he’d pat him on his back and intimidate him like a bully.

But underneath his rough exterior, he was quite the thinker.

He’s the toughest sort of person to deal with.

Today is the last day of the imperial martial arts tournament. If something is to happen, it’ll definitely be today.

Long Zaitian… sure is good at holding it in.

No, perhaps that’s not quite right. He’s a little different to his usual self, as if he’s deliberately being flashy to cover up his unsettled feelings. He was more flamboyant with his actions as though he were slightly anxious.

I looked in his direction. Long Zaitian seemed to sense my gaze on him and looked back at me. With the wide open space, I couldn’t evade his gaze in time so our gazes met. He gave me a ferocious glare, proving he still remembered the humiliation of calling me “baba”.

But after that, he chuckled coldly as though he had come up with a way to get back at me. He turned back around and continued bullying Brother Bastard. Brother Bastard complained incessantly. He too looked at me to gesture, “Your boss is in trouble and you’re not going to help?”

There’s nothing I can do about it.

I waved my hand to indicate that if our boss can’t save him, what could we underlings do? What about our balls man? Moreover, my balls are better than yours several times over. Around Long Zaitian was a group of Qilin Guards. All of them had a presence which stood out from everyone else. Every move they made gave the feeling that they were no simpletons. Such people are not easy to find, and yet the Qilin Guards have over ten of them here. They weren’t just blowing their trumpets when they said they’re many times stronger than Liu Shan Men.

“Big Bro!”

Tang Ye standing in the distance waved at me. I nodded to indicate I’d be there right away.

I looked around slowly.

Xiao and General Manager Bai should have come back to their senses by now, right?

That was seriously dangerous……. A fight between women is hard enough to deal with as it is. When Su Xiao and General Manager Bai argue, it’s like two women going to see their aunt all dressed the same. If I wasn’t equipped with special problem-solving skills, I wouldn’t be able to be here right now.

What?

Afraid?

No way. I’m calm enough to laugh.

Yours truly has encountered many situations. There’s no way I would be scared because of two little girls, I mean, little boys, wait… whatever!

What?

The third pear? Why that would be me who smacked it away of course.

I took a pear out from my shirt and took a bite. The juice was nice and sweet as I remember. And the refreshing feeling was just as I remember.

I looked up to the blue sky feeling satisfied and had a thought.

Ha! Trolling and then legging it. Damn that was exhilarating!

Glossary

In this chapter, Su Xiao and Bai Ling combined are referred to as “young girls”, that is not a mistake.

Baba = Dad/daddy/father

Volume 2 END

 

Previous Chapter   l   Next Chapter

Liked it? Support Wu Jizun on Patreon for faster releases, more releases and patron only specials!