“Your highness, your hunting gear for tomorrow has been prepared.”
A maid knocked on my door in the evening and hung a smooth set of clothes for hunting at my top of my bed then bowed and said: “I wish you victory and a safe return.”
I smiled and placed the thick book in my hand down. I guess this book can be considered elven literature. It’s a pretty good novel. The literature of elves is a little sad, as it laments the passage of time and their own long lifespans. Virtually nobody cares for politics, but there are lots of them who reflect on war and think about the value of things. It’s quite an interesting read.
In the past, a young prince could act hipster after reading just one book completely written in English. When I return, I can say that I read the literature of another type of being. I wondered what sort of reaction I’d get if I had my phone, took a picture, and then took it back and said: “This is the language of elves that you hipsters admire so much.”
They’d probably think I’m insane.
“Wow, your hunting gear looks so good, your highness.”
Lucia jumped onto the bed barefoot and then picked up my hunting gear. It was made of leather, and was basically the same as what hunters nowadays where, except that it was a tighter fit on the body. It had the royal family’s golden coat of arms embroidered on it, there was a cape attached to the back which had pockets on two rows. The cape also acts as a blanket during winter. The red cape on the black clothes looked quite cool. We would wear boots for footwear to prevent bugs and the sort from crawling in.
I looked at Lucia who was completely naked before me measuring up my hunting gear and smiled wryly. I wanted to tell hipsters: “The elf you guys like so much is on my bed stark naked.”
Lucia looked at me and then said: “Your highness, the deer hunting festival is tomorrow. It doesn’t look like you’re nervous.”
“Aren’t you the same? I feel like it’s the night before my final exams where I haven’t revised anything and might as well just wing it…. But this time, I don’t intend to do that. I’ll kill a white deer king even if it means I have to use the stuff mom gave me if I have too.”
Lucia was slightly puzzled. I smiled, and then gently reached my hand out to hold her hand. Lucia followed along and sat by my side, and then hugged me around my waist. I gently held her hand and said: “I honestly don’t have any ambitions…. Up until now, the biggest decision I’ve made must’ve been deciding to marry you….”
Lucia gently leaned against me, lowered her head and replied:”Uhm….”
My Lucia leaned into my embrace and resolutely said: “Initially… Initially…I thought you didn’t love me because you never gave me any reaction before. You treated me the same way you treated friends. However, after what happened with the Earth Dragons, the feelings you shared with me made me really happy. I’ve always loved you, your highness, ever since we were young. Always. Up until now. So I’m very happy that you’ve finally fallen in love with me. I… I’ll give it my all tomorrow to repay the love you have given me, and to prove my love for you, your highness.”
“Why does it feel like you’re proposing to me?”
I smiled and then gently cupped Lucia’s face in my hands. Lucia paused and her face turned slightly red. She closed her eyes and reached her arm around to hug my neck. My heartbeat sped up and I could feel Lucia’s body temperature slowly rise, as a strong flower scent slowly fill the air. Lucia who had her eyes shut was slightly nervous and as a result, quivered gently. Her eye lashes seemed like they were keeping time and she slowly tilted her cute-red-flower-like lips upwards and slowly came closer.
I closed my eyes and slowly leaned in closer towards her lips…. Lucia’s breathing slowly came closer and I could feel her nervous and anticipating breaths brush my skin. I gently touched my nose against hers, and heard her moan shyly. My lips could feel the gentle warmth before them and couldn’t wait to go in for them.
“Son! The deer hunting festival is tomorrow. Have you prepared…? Stop!!! Stop you two!!”
A voice mixed with anger, sorrow and jealousy exploded at the door, scaring Lucia and I, causing us to quickly separate. I looked towards the door stunned. Mom looked at us with shock. She had distrust and jealousy written on her face. She looked at us, waved her hands with frustration and kicked her legs as she shouted: “No! No! Not! Happening! You two are not to do anything impure before you get married! You absolutely must not! Until you get married, you’re only allowed to do this sort of stuff with mommy! Stop, you two! You’re not married yet! You’re not allowed to perform such shameless acts!”
Wait! Wait a second!!
That’s not right! That’s not right! I can understand no sexual acts before marriage! But what the heck is this about doing it with my mom?! Is there not some sort of huge problem with what you said?! What do you mean “you can only do it with mommy before you get married”? Doing this sort of stuff with my mom before marriage is basically self-destruction!
Lucia immediately knelt on the bed and apologised as though she just did something wrong and got caught: “I apologise, your highness!”
Don’t apologise! This is wrong! There’s something wrong with what the queen said!! And what’s wrong with fiancées kissing?! It doesn’t matter even if we do something that can’t be described… No, what the hell am I saying! Without assistance from Lucia’s wind elves tomorrow, the deer hunting plan will become a picnic, with us as the food! No! Not a picnic, but a wilderness survival event, and one without Bear Grylls leading us for that matter! And there’s this remarried woman too….
Mom angrily ran over to my side and aggressively hugged my head. She aggressively pulled me into her embrace without waiting for my approval. Come to think of it, I’ve been killed many times via being buried in boobs, haven’t I?! I’ve experienced this extremely great yet painful experience every time. My body can’t take much more!!
“My son is mine right now. I won’t let anyone have him! You can do that sort of stuff after you get married, but not now! No! You’re absolutely forbidden!”
Mom pulled me into her bosom even tighter. I desperately struggled but mom had no intention of letting go.
“Yes! Understood, your highness! But it looks like his highness is in a lot of pain right now….”
I finally managed to escape. I gasped for air, looked at mom and exclaimed: “Mom, you’re a bit too worked up, aren’t you? We… We’re just kissing…. Didn’t you say you already gave birth to me by this age…?”
“That’s different! I was already married! I gave birth to you after I was married to my brother! Whatever the case, you two still aren’t married so you can’t engage in that sort of intimate behaviour!”
Mom had her arms folded as she looked at me angrily. She then said: “What are you going to do about the deer hunting festival tomorrow if you do that sort of stuff? And if you want to kiss, can’t you kiss mommy instead?”
“No, no, no, no!!! It’s wrong on every level to kiss my mom!”
I reached my hands out and grabbed my head. The elves philosophies, world view and values… No, mom’s philosophies, world view and values are hard for me to comprehend. Mom continued to lecture us for a while. She then stood up and reminded me to prepare the potions before she left. I sighed. I finally raised my head to look at Lucia and noticed that she too was feeling a bit too embarrassed to look at me.
We both laughed out loud and then lied down on the bed together as we held hands and interlocked our fingers.
“Lucia, I will give you a wedding ceremony you’ll be pleased with.”
“Uhm. Your highness, the wedding ceremony I want, is the one with you standing by my side.”
1) Edward Michael “Bear” Grylls is a British adventurer, writer and television presenter from Northern Ireland.
2) Troy is using the term “hipster” in an insulting manner in this chapter. The original Chinese term refers to social groups found in first-tier Chinese cities whose members display an ostensible interest of non-Chinese music, movie, literature, drama, etc., many of which—despite being widely recognised canons of human civilization—remain somehow unknown to the general public of China, partly because of what happened post-1949. The term is often used derogatorily as a manifestation of the prevailing populism of the present-day China.