Green Plum Armenian Plum
Summer dazzles.
Armenian plums shine.
Golden clouds drift.
Winds gently brush.
Quarter past noon, a maiden comes by,
You are all familiar with her name – Shen Yiren.
With a hand on her sword hilt, her brows furrowed, the corner of her lips tugged up, she brayed, “Five, was it? You flipping liar!”
If even snakes were only left with their skin, then humans unquestionably despised the heat. What would refresh someone more than a cold beverage and some food under some nice shade? As soon as one entered the inn, where a sweet aroma of alcohol waft through the street, though, they saw a maiden going toe to toe with the inn’s waiter.
“Five silver taels for a jug of wine? You think I don’t know maths, or you think I’m a hermit? I see how it is. You want to scam a poor girl because she’s not a local!”
“I would never. I am charging the exact price we charge. Green Plum Armenian Plum Inn is known far and wide, and many people go out of their way to enjoy our drinks. If you don’t believe me, you can ask anything within a hundred kilometres if there’s another place that sells wine comparable to ours.”
The inn was far from any town or gathering point, yet they operated out of a two-storey tall building. They say that an inn has no need to fear a long alley if their wine is aromatic. “Hundred Mile Aroma” was the top wine in the area. They procured the water from a nearby mountain spring and brewed their wine using their proprietary method that had been passed down for the last century. They said that you’d fill tipsy before a drop even touched your lips. Green plums and Armenian plums each had their own strengths that kept people hooked. Five silver taels for a jug certainly was a steep asking price, but they never had any demand shortages. There was something for every budget, so the inn couldn’t be classified as a den of scammers when there were willing customers.
“A hundred kilometres? I can travel four hundred kilometres in a day! Here is one silver for one jug. Give me another two. Keep babbling and I’ll make you crawl home.”
“Tw-two silver taels is not even enough for half a j-”
The maiden raised her hand with a glare, scaring the waiter into the bottom of a squat. His reaction put a smug grin on her face.
The waiter had served enough varieties of people throughout his career to be a menace with words, but there was nothing he could do against the maiden with a fuse shorter than her modest height and temper that was fierier than her body should’ve been able to store.
“Serve her the wine she asked for,” instructed the owner.
“Hmph, that’s more like it.” The maiden headed up to the second floor.
Hearing his waiter grumble under his breath, the proprietor stressed, “Don’t wake up our guests.”
“But, Boss, she…”
“Switch to two small jugs, and don’t fill them completely.”
It wasn’t worth disturbing all the other guests for the sake of one customer. However, the waiter also realised why he wasn’t in charge after hearing those instructions, and he had no qualms following them.
Once the young lady had a big mouthful, she said, “Hmm, it really isn’t too shabby. Still, five silver taels is too dear. At most, it’s worth three silver taels. That said, your boss agreed to two silver taels for two jugs, so you better make good on it.”.”
As she smugly continued drinking, she ordered, “Give me another one and a half kilos of beef with extra green onions and… You have lamb shanks? You’re a disgrace! Give me three extra kilos of braised beef, then. What are you staring for? You think I can’t afford it? Even if I can’t, you think this sword isn’t enough to pay for it?”
From what the waiter could see, even if the sword itself wasn’t worth much – which didn’t appear to be the case – the gold gilding looked convincingly real.
The maiden enjoyed her meal without a care in the world. Given how steamy the weather was, people didn’t want to expend extra energy speaking, so the sound of her chewing and guzzling wine were easily audible.
The fragrance of Armenian plums, the long daylight, and the view from the windows created an idyllic atmosphere until she slammed a wine jug onto the table and brayed, “Bugger the flip off!” Even though she woke up the sleeping guests, she continued raging, “For goodness sake! You people have been sticking to me for half a month already. I’ve left you alone on account of the mercy of heaven, but you motherflippers don’t know what’s good for you. I finally get to enjoy a meal, and you disturb me. Fine. I’ll turn you to ashes and throw you into the wind!”
Another thirteen assassins cloaked in black garments presented themselves before her again. She had ceaselessly set up traps to kill them, but there seemed to be no end to them, and they’d keep catching up to her somehow.
The notoriously impatient maiden drew her sword and made her move. The veteran assassins chose to forgo their advantage under the cover of darkness and strike in the middle of the day because they’d also had enough of her. More than thirty of their brethren had fallen to her traps and attacks in the last two weeks they’d been on her tail. Considering none of their sneak attacks at night worked, they figured they’d only incur more casualties if they tried again in the dark.
“Bloody everyone thinks they can beat me these days just because they’ve trained.”
Despite the advantage the assassins had in their superior numbers, they were no match for her blistering speed, ferocity, potent internal energy and ruthless accuracy in targeting their vitals. She tactically manoeuvred in between the furniture to inhibit their attempts to swarm her, creating situations for herself to pick them off one by one. Frustrated, they started flipping, kicking and chopping tables to remove the obstructions.
“Let me teach you fools what happens when you decide to prove yourself useless,” she smugly remarked. In the next instant, she had thrust her sword through the throat of the person to her left. She immediately moved in the direction of the new opening to jump out the building, but the waiter happened to freeze in the way at wrong place at the wrong time. As a result, the assassins encircled her again. “Oh, so you’re with them!”
She had raised her sword and was ready to make the waiter wish he wasn’t there when she heard, “Wawa, don’t hurt the innocent.”
The owner of the soft voice vaulted through the window, dropped four assassins, broke the encirclement and reached the livid maiden.
“Why did you show yourself? I thought you weren’t going to show yourself unless it was a critical moment.”
The maiden with more blessed assets replied, “I’ll explain later. Oi, you bunch of fodder, buzz off now.” With a piercing gaze, she threatened, “Or else, I’ll skewer your testicles while I finish my drink.”
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