“Shall I kill the wyrm or not? Should I go or not? I understand what Mommy Vyvyan was getting at. I never thought about it, though,” I contemplated.
“Your Majesty,” called Nier. She returned to my side after her bath. She grabbed her long hair that had water trickling off and sat down next to me. Her scent was more prominent after just bathing. After sitting down next to me, she said, “You appear to have something on your mind. What are you thinking about?”
“I’m wondering if I should go kill the wyrm or not.”
“Do you want to hear my opinion, Dear?”
Nier checked to see that there was nobody around before addressing me as “Dear”, which she used when we were alone. However, she didn’t look relaxed and happy as she usually did when alone with me. She licked her lips as though she was in a bit of a dilemma: “If I was in your shoes, I wouldn’t go and pick a fight with the wyrm this time.”
“Why?” I asked.
Nier solemnly answered, “Because it’s meaningless. Dear, I hope you listen to me this time. My husband, Daisy’s father, I hope you listen to me. Let’s not pick a fight with the wyrm this time, and just take Ying and Xia. Yes, it’s all right to bring Ying and Xia. I just hope you’ll listen to me and not challenge the wyrm.”
“Are you a scared, Nier? Is it because you’ve never fought on water before?”
“No… Mm… I would say, yes,” answered Nier. She clasped my face in her hands and gently ran her fingers across my face. She was sad and eager to convince me. In a soft voice, she said, “My husband, Dear, to be honest, I’m not afraid of fighting even now. I’ll take up my sword without hesitation if it’s to protect you and Daisy. I will fight them regardless of how many they number or how strong they may be. I won’t be afraid in that situation.”
“Aren’t you protecting me this time, too?”
“But the risk that you’re taking this time is meaningless!” retorted Nier, voice loud. She sternly thundered, “For what reason are you taking a risk to slay the wyrm? Do you want to protect us, your children or Her Majesty? None of them. You just want to challenge the wyrm. You’re doing something utterly meaningless this time!!”
“I want to bring Ying and Xia!” I argued.
“Then, bring them!! I won’t complain or refuse anymore. I’m fine with anything as long as you give up on picking a fight with the wyrm,” shouted Nier, on the verge of tears. She choked on her words as she continued, “My husband, Dear, you’re now Daisy’s father and my husband. You don’t need to take this pointless risk… I beg you… Please… Don’t let Daisy be without a father… I don’t want to be without a husband… I’m now honestly scared. I’m honestly afraid I’ll die. I’m afraid Daisy will be left without a mother for a completely meaningless reason, and the same goes for you! You don’t want Daisy to be without a father, do you?!”
“I don’t… I don’t want to, either…” I stammered.
I grabbed hold of Nier’s hand. I leaned over and gently touched our heads. Nier softly sobbed then let go of my hand to hug me. I hugged her back and stroked her wet hair. I looked at the wall behind her. Behind the wall was Ying and Xia’s room.
I debated with myself: “Should I go and kill the wyrm or not? What significance would I derive from it? I want to kill it so that Ying and Xia can leave with peace of mind. Will they leave with us if I tell them we’re not going to kill the wyrm and just leave? I don’t think Ying would. Killing the wyrm is their mission. They probably won’t leave until then. But Nier isn’t wrong. She’s right. I can still leave, even if Ying and Xia don’t leave with us. I insist that I don’t love Ying, so I can by all means leave her. I have my own wives and children. I’m now a father, a ruler, a husband, and I have a family.
Vyvyan and Nier are right. I need to have my own new life now. Maybe I should live for the sake of my children, because they were born a little soon. I never felt I had another factor in my life – by that, I mean that I’m now a father.
I can’t let something happen to myself. Inard lost his life when he went to slay the dragon. He didn’t need to go to the dragon’s den, but he lost his life just because he wanted to slay it for its head, leaving Troy without a father. Vyvyan can be considered a very noble mom. With her, whether or not I had a father, made no difference, but what about Daisy? Even if losing her father doesn’t affect her, it doesn’t mean that it’s a good thing all of a sudden. How much sadness would Nier have to bear, as she takes care of Daisy? I think that’s why Nier and Vyvyan are stopping me.
Nier’s father passed away when she was young, while Vyvyan experienced the aforementioned scenario. The two of them understood how the person left behind felt. They knew that pain.
When I was out risking my life, Vyvyan and Elizabeth were always worried for me, for I’m their son. Lucia, Nier, Ling Yue and Luna worried for me, because they love me. Now, not only do my wives and mothers worry, but my children, as well. There are so many people worried about me now. How many people would be sad if something happens to me?
I can no longer be without concern as I did in the past. I have to take numerous people and things into consideration. I can’t break the hearts of those who love me. I must think about how the people around me are going to live on if something happens to me. How much would my wives and children suffer? I can’t behave the way I did in the past. I can’t.
I should go back now. I should return with my moms and wives. Ying and Xia can follow if they want. We’ve still done all we can, even if they won’t come with me. I have no reason to insist on staying with them. They have their own lives, while I have my wives and family. We all have people we want to protect and be with.”
Since I didn’t respond, Nier went on: “Dear, I beg you, don’t go. Don’t go. Let’s go home. Let’s go home. I want to see our Daisy. I want to go home. Let’s go home together…”
“Mm… I know. I know…”
“You don’t know!!” exclaimed Nier, clutching my face and looking at me with a gaze on the border of insanity. “If you understood, you’d cancel our plan, and go home tomorrow. We can go home tomorrow!!”
I didn’t respond. I just gently hugged Nier and tried to calm her trembling down. It was the first time that Nier was so emotional in front of me. She just wanted to return home; that was all she asked for. I stood up, and then patted her on her shoulder. In a soft voice, I said, “I need to go and speak to Lucia.”
“What do you want to say? Are you letting her know we’re leaving?” asked Nier.
I answered, “No… Sometimes, when I can’t decide on something, I need to go and ask Lucia…”
When I couldn’t make up my mind, when I lacked courage, I always had a desire to consult Lucia. She knew me best and was the person who could best help me gain clarity. As long as she was by my side, I’d be able to regain my courage and my direction. I suppose it was the power of childhood friends, ordinary, yet special…
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