Miss, You Want a Pear?
The fragrant scent of Xuemei filled my nose. Bai Lian raised her head up slightly, and moved her warm, moist lips right before my eyes.
Someone sends a delicacy right to your door, what are you going to do: (a) eat, (b) not eat, (c) eat and then run?
I didn’t even consider the question, I already lowered my head.
Bai Lian’s lips that were like fresh flowers got covered by something rough though. She frowned and angrily exclaimed: “What are you doing?!”
I extended a finger out and placed it between our lips.
Of course I can’t kiss her for real. I can write off the first time as being because I just woke up and mistook her for someone else, but what would the second time be considered? It’s sick and perverted!
I took out a beautiful white pear from my shirt: “Miss, you want a pear?”
“Save it for yourself!”
Bai Lian slapped it away with her hand.
I don’t know what was wrong with her, but she seemed to be angry with me. She angrily and violently grabbed my head and yanked me over: “Get over here!”
I don’t know what style she was trained in, but her arm strength could compare to Tang Ye’s. She just yanked me over. The scent of fresh flowers coming from her sweet lips and the warm breath coming from her mouth was virtually like a line with a hook, pulling my mouth towards her.
But I can’t submit!
General Manager Bai is very knowledgeable on martial arts so I can’t reveal my martial arts before her. So at the crucial moment, I had no choice but to-
I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her into my arms. I then hugged her with both arms like a bear-hug. When I pulled her hot body into my arms, it was like ice met with fire, melting even my bones. I don’t know why the violent and beautiful eunuch finally calmed down and stopped fidgeting.
In that moment, it felt like the entire world had stopped moving.
We were covered by the overcoat. Neither of us spoke. I don’t know why she went silent now of all times, nor do I know why I went mute now of all times. In the small space, it was silent like a winter night.
After a while, the small head by my chest budged. I didn’t dare to let her go, so I continued holding on.
But she fidgeted around, which I presume was due to discomfort, so I loosened up a little.
Bai Lian tried to get her head outside to get in a big breath of air.
She took shallow breaths and looked at me powerlessly: “Y-You’re making me suffocate… What are you doing…?” I don’t know if it was because I hugged her too tightly or because the space was too small. General Manager Bai’s tone felt much calmer than usual, and different to when we were watching the bouts before.
She was just like a seventeen or eighteen year old girl. She didn’t seem to realise herself that her tone had changed and continued to stare at me angrily.
“I’m talking to you!”
“Oh, oh, I was in a rush so…….”
Wait a second! She’s getting angry first? Whose fault is this?!
“Shouldn’t it be me who asks you that question?” I didn’t remove the overcoat covering us. We were close enough to smell the breath of one another. “Why did you suddenly want me to kiss you?”
Bai Lian’s lost looking gaze seemed to recuperate some brightness when I put forth my question. She appeared to finally calm down. And then she went red in the face.
“What do you mean? That… that was my penalty for losing our bet.” Bai Lian took in a deep breath and re-centred herself. Then, like a peacock, she proudly said: “Ming Feizhen, do you know what sort of status I hold in the palace? Can I go back on my word? I stick to my word, and if I lose, I shall do as I promised. Don’t misunderstand. I-I don’t like men.”
I could virtually hear her heart palpitate. So it was obvious she was fronting and incredibly nervous.
“Ah, forget it….. But what were you angry about just now?”
That’s the crux of the problem. The reason we have this weird atmosphere is because General Manager Bai lost it.
General Manager Bai glared at me aggressively like a cat that had its tail stepped on: “What’s it got to do with you?! Can’t I suddenly feel unwell? Everybody experiences it every month, didn’t you know that?”
Hey, that’s women only, isn’t it?
Could it be that Eunuchs also…….
“Forget it then. But since you said you keep your promises.” I smiled and said: “How about letting me kiss you again for real?”
I scanned her carefully.
Bai Lian virtually leaned her entire body on me. I wasn’t sure if it was because she was nervous or if it was because she was angry, but her breaths on my chest started to intensify too. Sweat started to form on Bai Lian’s cheeks and ran down her white neck due to the stifled space, creating a beautiful line like water.
Is she really a eunuch?
Faced with my question, Bai Lian shook her head: “Since you rejected me before, you won’t get another chance.”
Why do I feel like I suffered a great loss……?
“What else do you want?” Bai Lian chuckled as she spoke, “I gave you a chance. It was you who didn’t have the guts to take it, so who can you blame?”
Th-th-this nation-ruining vixen! Watch me get back at you!
Worst comes to worst, I’ll forsake my reputation.
I revealed a naughty smile like a master forcing himself on a maid: “It wasn’t because I didn’t have the guts, but because I wasn’t prepared. Are you ready now, General Manager Bai?”
“Wh-What do you want?!”
The atmosphere between us heated up again. Her ears and neck uncontrollably went red. I stared into her eyes that could virtually steal your soul from you and felt like I was possessed by a devil. My throat and lips felt a little dry.
My eyes then suddenly spotted something like a layer of sweet candy that looked moist on her lips. My eyes were virtually on fire. General Manager Bai couldn’t stop herself from biting down on her lip. She looked like she wanted to hide, but she had no idea that was egging me on even more.
I’m going to transform into a pervert!*
“Big Brother Ming?”
Huh? This voice……
“Big Brother Ming? Are you there?”
Somebody suddenly removed the overcoat covering our heads.
The autumn sun shone onto us again. The blue sky and white clouds appeared again and breathing became a lot easier for both of us.
Our surroundings were empty. The sea of people watching the matches before had vanished. No wonder I didn’t hear anybody say anything for so long, turns out there was no one around. I remember Su Xiao’s semi-final bout was held here.
In other words, the audience should have headed towards the main plaza of the imperial city interior to watch the finals with the emperor then.
But the person who just spoke……
I looked over in the speaker’s direction and saw a cheerful and pretty face. On their face was a smile as bright as the sun, with flushed cheeks, like someone who had just restored their blood and qi in their body, restoring their vitality. The speaker looked like a young healthy beautiful girl.
On closer inspection, said young girl was none other than Su Xiao!
Why did Su Xiao have to come here now? I was so occupied with talking to General Manager Bai just now that I forgot to pay attention to the sound of footsteps around me!
Now this is slightly awkward. While hiding under the overcoat and talking might not cause people to imagine things, it could impact General Manager Bai’s stern and just reputation.
But having been in the palace for so long, when she noticed the overcoat get taken away, she had already pushed me away and returned to her dignified stance. So even if we were seen at a closer distance, we kept a safe distance.
I might’ve been a little worried if it was someone else, but this is Su Xiao we’re talking about. With Su Xiao’s intellect, we could bullshit our way out even if we were ten-times more flirtatious. I quickly tried to come up with an excuse for why we were hiding in the overcoat.
Su Xiao widened his beautiful eyes: “Big Brother Ming.”
I replied with a smile, took out a pear: “Miss, you want a pear?”
“Get lost!” Su Xiao angrily smacked my pear away, “I’m a guy!”
Hey! Hey! Did you two pre-arrange this?! Don’t just go throwing away my pears!
“I thought you were here. I knew you would wait for me here! But Big Brother Ming, what were you hiding in the overcoat for?” Su Xiao looked at me in a somewhat panicked manner and then looked at General Manager Bai whose face was red, “This lady is… Ah, General Manger Bai?”
“Yeah, yeah, you naughty kid, don’t you recognise General Manager Bai?”
We were discussing national affairs so what did you come and disturb us for?! Let me enlighten you as to what we were talking about.
Su Xiao didn’t say anything. He looked at me and then at General Manager Bai. He then continued shifting his gaze back and forth between us. He noticed Bai Lian and I were somewhat unnatural, therefore, I had to break the ice: “Umm, Xiao, General Manager Bai and I……”
Su Xiao stopped me. I don’t know what was up. It was like he suddenly realised something. He rushed over, hugged my left arm, glared at General Manager Bai and for the love of god said: “Big Brother Ming has a lover!”
I didn’t say shit!! You have a shoe-size IQ, kid!
“Hey, what are you saying out of the blue……?”
But I heard a cold-piercing voice from my side. Bai Lian narrowed her eyes as she stared at me.
“Oh, you have a lover now? I couldn’t tell.”
Your excellency Bai? Eunuch Bai? General Manager Bai? Why are you like this again now?!
Su Xiao, still not content, delivered me another blow: “Of course. It’s his gugu!”
Hey! You want me dead that badly?!
“Even if he doesn’t have his gugu……” Su Xiao went red in the face and pulled me behind him like a cat protecting its food. He treated General Manager Bai like a vixen that would bring ruin to a nation and vigilantly said: “He still has me! I won’t let you sully Big Brother Ming!”
Hey! She’s a eunuch! She’s a dude! What the hell are you saying?!
“You’re too stupid, Big Brother Ming, don’t speak!”
I can’t possibly be stupider than you!
“So you won’t let me sully him as long as you’re around?” Bai Lian stood still at first, and then she revealed a smile to indicate a challenge because she didn’t acknowledge defeat: “Now that’s interesting. There’s never been anything that I haven’t been able to do since I was young.”
“General Manager Bai, please don’t be insensible like a ch-……”
“Shut up, Ming Feizhen! This is not your business!”
I got told to shut up again…..
“Su Xiao and Bai Lian, two young beauties (I think?) squared off. I could see sparks fly between their eyes.
“Hey, uhh……” I stood in the middle stupefied. I cautiously took out a pear: “Ladies, do you want a pear?”
Xuemei is a flower
*In the part about transforming into a pervert, the literal translation is “wolf”. But it’s word play because 色狼 (lit. translation Perverted Wolf), which means pervert. Since those who are unaware of the wordplay at hand there wouldn’t understand it, and for best clarity purposes, I used “pervert”.