The Moody Young Girl’s Thoughts
General Manager Bai had her gaze affixed on the ring. The water welled up in her eyes looked like they’d frozen, leaving not a single trace of warmth. She was familiar with the formalities in the palace to begin with. When standing, one had to maintain an erect torso with their head straight, and mood hidden. Now more than ever, she was ice-cold.
She must be angry because I was concerned with Su Xiao before and ignored her. A eunuch and a woman should have pretty similar thinking…… Women are not to be offended, and even more so when it comes to eunuchs.
I can’t stand this awkward atmosphere either so I need to think of a way to smooth things over with her……
I looked up at the autumn sun shining down from high above. It wasn’t hot, but the rays were very unpleasant. I caught a glimpse of General Manager Bai’s snow-white-like skin with a slight tinge of carmine. Her skin looked better than a girl’s. General Manager Bai looked like an ice-statue, not speaking a word, but since her skin looked so supple, she couldn’t stand exposing it to the sun’s rays for an extended period of time. Every now and then she would move her beautiful neck to avoid the sun’s rays. However, there was no shade here so she couldn’t escape the rays. Her skin started to turn a little red which I assume was because of the sun.
She usually has somebody following her around to assist her, but the eunuch that follows her got left behind when she grabbed me and ran before.
An idea suddenly hit me.
“General Manager Bai.”
Bai Lian still ignored me. But when she saw my gesture, she broke her silent ice-cold demeanour and shouted with astonishment: “Wh-What are you doing?! Why are you stripping?!”
I didn’t say anything and just continued taking off the outer layers of my clothes. The next thing I noticed was that she’d raised her hands up out of shock to cover her sight.
General Manager Bai isn’t really tall, but she can be considered tall for a girl. She’s around Boss Shen’s height. But her height is considered average compared to a guy’s. Maybe it’s because she entered the palace at a young age and the labour impacted her growth. Her waist looked soft, her body was lean… her physique was like that of a girl’s. The thought of it is quite sad. Who would be willing to enter the palace and become a eunuch if they didn’t have particular circumstances?
General Manager Bai’s eyes darted back-and-forth, looking at me one second, and then not looking at me the next.
It seems that the tension between us has eased up somewhat. I think she’s willing to speak now. My other hand was busy too. I grabbed a crisp melon seed, placed it between my teeth and gently peeled the skin off, revealing the white melon inside. I sucked it back into my mouth, filling my mouth with its nice fragrance.
I revealed a smile intended to kiss up to her, and like a waiter from a teahouse asked: “General Manager Bai, you want a melon seed?”
General Manager Bai still didn’t speak. She just stared at me for a long time to the point that I felt awkward before she stopped. She then continued watching the “intense battle” between the two. She kept silent. Wh-What’s she playing at?
Was it just my delusion that the tension between us had eased up?
General Manager Bai then suddenly reached her slender hand out and took the bag of melon seeds in my shirt. Oh! So she wants to have some melon seeds.
“I’ll remove the skin and feed you.”
General Manager Bai glared at me. But because her eyes looked so pitiful, I could only see her flirting with me. I think she was saying that she didn’t need my help.
I stopped talking and stepped back.
After a while……
General Manager Bai suddenly spoke out. She peeled the seeds like I did while she watched the ring. She seemed a little annoyed when she said: “……. That’s Su Xiao? I’ve seen him twice but I didn’t get a chance to get a proper look. I kept hearing that his looks were on par with Song Yu and Pan An, and more beautiful than a girl. I truly believe that now after seeing him today.” But it was obvious she didn’t know how to peel the seeds, and just threw them into her mouth. It was clear she had no idea how to eat them either. She looked really cute like a squirrel holding food in its hands.
I couldn’t help but laugh: “Oh? Have you fallen for Su Xiao?”
Bai Lian: “Why would I like a man? No ivory comes out of a dog’s mouth.”
While she was being mean, when she said that, a flash of red appeared on her snow-white face as if somebody dripped a drop of red water on her face. With her cheeks red, she sure looked good.
No way…… General Manager Bai actually……
I was slightly perplexed. I suddenly thought: The eunuch’s I’ve met usually liked women, but there are a number like Eunuch Wang who like guys. If this pretty eunuch falls for Su Xiao, she could forcefully get him given her authority. How the fuck am I going to save him?!
Ming Feizhen thought about all sorts of things, but he didn’t realise that while Bai Lian was silent for that short while, she had actually had many thoughts of her own.
Bai Lian had no friends. Her true identity as a girl was a big secret that she couldn’t reveal, so she naturally couldn’t get too close to anyone. The palace is a den of schemers. Everybody wears the same face. She never smiled even once a day.
She’s never experienced what it’s like to have friends, so she naturally couldn’t talk about being lonely or otherwise not.
It’s just like how somebody who grew up in the North with the cold harsh weather has never experienced the flower blossoming season of spring in Jiangnan wouldn’t feel that the cool air is harsh. But if they were to tour Jiangnan for a day and experience the kinder weather, they’d most probably never want to go back to living in the death-inducing cold lands.
That was how Bai Lian had been feeling recently. She had never joked around this much with anyone, men in particular. Other than the royal family members, everybody in the palace feared her, and the ladies and concubines spoke bluntly to her. Some tried to get on her good-side, but nobody ever had a proper chat with her.
Ming Feizhen’s sudden appearance let her know that she could interact with people like this. It’s like somebody who’s experienced the harsh-cold suddenly found a field of lush grass with flowers in bloom in the field.
Her reluctance to part with it grew inside her without her being able to control those feelings. Even though she knew that these times wouldn’t last long, she wanted to at least enjoy these moments of freedom before the imperial martial arts tournament ended.
However, Bai Lian never thought it would end so soon, nor did she think it would end this way.
Ming Feizhen forgot about her as soon as he saw Su Xiao, throwing her into the back of his mind as if he completely forgot about her existence.
Why? Why did he do that? Why won’t he speak to me?
He ignored her even though she had cast aside statuses. Why was he like that?
As she pondered the questions, she felt a sudden throbbing pain in her chest.
The feelings she couldn’t comprehend crept up into her mind again. Bai Lian experienced so many feelings she had never felt before in a single day, exceeding what she could process. She couldn’t even think of what to say or do. She consequently just stood there quietly, not saying a word and not doing a thing. She was like a child that had gotten injured for the first time, not daring to resist, quietly crouching down and waiting for the pain to pass.
But just as she began to do that, the big idiot Ming Feizhen started talking to her non-stop.
He was rambling about how Su Xiao learnt swordplay so quickly, how Su Xiao was really talented, how Su Xiao was a man with a strong sense of justice, how Su Xiao’s sword technique was executed well, how he was thrashing Yi Yixian….
“Quit your rambling! Watch for yourself!”
After she blurted that, she felt that she really wasn’t herself today.
What was wrong with her? Why was she feeling so annoyed? Why did she lose control of her emotions?
Bai Lian suddenly started to feel even more scared.
She has always hidden her own life ever since she was young. She carried a huge secret so she had to hide herself away. The palace is a cruel place. If she didn’t keep the secret, she wouldn’t be able to protect those important to her.
That was how she had always led her life, and after living like that for a long time, she thought that she’d never reveal her inner thoughts.
But why did just a single incident cause her to drop her guard?
Bai Lian started to fear speaking. She stopped talking to avoid revealing her inner thoughts.
When Ming Feizhen was thinking of a way to make her feel better, Bai Lian focused on the match to divert her attention. However, she slowly realised that she wasn’t watching the match, but rather, she was staring at Su Xiao’s handsome face, and she started feeling more and more uncomfortable as she looked at him.
She couldn’t put her finger on what it was. Perhaps it was because Ming Feizhen said “our Su Xiao”. Perhaps it was because the scene of Ming Feizhen running off after hearing Su Xiao met with trouble when he was at the small Southern gate. Maybe it was because Ming Feizhen tossed her to the back of his mind as soon as he saw Su Xiao, completely forgetting about her existence.
All of those things made her feel glum.
If Ming Feizhen flirted with another girl instead of Su Xiao today, perhaps she would’ve mocked him by saying: “All men are like this!” She might’ve even publicly ridiculed him to smear his name with mud.
But it was different with Su Xiao. Su Xiao is a guy. From a certain perspective, that was further away than the distance between her and Ming Feizhen with her identity as a eunuch. But how did they manage to get along so well? Why was it making her so envious?
When she had that thought, she couldn’t help but look at Ming Feizhen, wanting to know what he was thinking.
But then the troublesome punk started acting considerate towards her. His gesture indicated he was concerned about her.
She stared at Ming Feizhen. She looked and looked, and then suddenly felt that the fellow was annoying.
Can’t he behave a little? Who in the imperial palace would treat the general manager eunuch like this? But there was nothing he didn’t dare to do. The first time they met, he pulled her into his embrace and forced a kiss on her, stealing her first kiss.
Bai Lian isn’t an ordinary child. She never had any yearning for love, desire to marry or the sort since she was young, nor had she had any thoughts young girls had. Furthermore, she was very decisive and never let herself be led by her emotions. While she was furious after Ming Feizhen kissed her that day, she didn’t care too much for first kisses and the sort. She just considered it getting bitten by a crazed dog. Would a human have to bite a dog back if a dog bit them?
That was the sort of person she was.
But Bai Lian now felt that something was wrong with her. She felt a throbbing feeling.
She suddenly felt like her lips were heating up. The memory of Ming Feizhen’s deep kiss suddenly resurfaced. That was the first intimate interaction she had with a male. While she didn’t care for it too much after the fact, the impression left was very deep. She felt her cherry lips heat up as if they weren’t hers. It was a very strange feeling.
“Then let me kiss you again?” The bet Ming Feizhen mentioned came to mind again. Bai Lian’s thoughts filled her mind, and her ears turned red without her being able to control it. She lost the previous bet.
She didn’t dare to imagine how she would deal with it if he were to persist with his bet.
Would she just accept her loss since she was willing to bet? Would they really have to kiss again like on that day?
Bai Lian couldn’t find the answer, but the feeling on her lips got weirder and weirder, as if they were going to burn up. She had to steal a seed from Ming Feizhen to hide the fact that her attention was focused on her lips.
Bai Lian doesn’t eat these kinds of things. In fact, she’s never eaten melon seeds. It was just because she saw Ming Feizhen happily eating them, angering her a little and therefore her decision to steal them from him.
But then Ming Feizhen said he’d feed her. She can’t let him do that! He’ll notice that her lips were turning red!
To avoid letting him notice her lips turning red, she forcefully said: “”……. That’s Su Xiao? I’ve seen him twice but I didn’t get a chance to get a proper look. I kept hearing that his looks were on par with Song Yu and Pan An, and more beautiful than a girl. I truly believe that now after seeing him today.”
While I was still suffering, General Manager Bai suddenly exclaimed: “Hmph, what do they mean he looks like Song Yu and Pang An? He clearly is Su Daji!”
Speak for yourself. I think you’re the one that looks like a vixen that could send a nation into ruin……. Since I’d be hated for good if I said that, I didn’t dare to say it out loud.
On the ring, Su Xiao basically had the match in the bag. Yi Yixian didn’t dare to fight back. Su Xiao had dismantled all of his iron rings. I think it’ll be hard for Yi Yixian to turn the tables even if he does fight back now.
I suddenly saw a piece of melon peel on Bai Lian’s soft, warm, small lips which was a very comical sight. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She has no idea how to peel melon seeds. She must’ve taken them from me so that I wouldn’t have anything to eat, am I right? Looks like General Manager Bai has a childish side to her too.
Just as I was about to take the melon seed skin off her lips, I suddenly remembered her thundering at me before. Who knows if she’s in a better mood now… If I offend her again, I’ll probably get a spanking with rods by the imperial guards. And so I used a roundabout method, coughing to get her attention.
“Cough, cough, cough.”
After a few coughs, Bai Lian glared at me. She frowned and said: “Don’t spread your virus if you’re sick.”
“Who you saying is sick?!” I was so angry I was about to fly off the handle. Why does this chick not understand appreciation?!
I didn’t dare to touch her, so I just pouted my lips and pointed to my lips: “Hey, hey, here.”
Bai Lian’s face went red. She then bit down on her cherry lips tightly. Then without a single thought, raised her hand and smacked me on my face!
In case you’ve forgotten, Song Yu and Pan An were famous flower boys, famous for their good flower boy looks.
Daji, was the favourite consort of King Zhou of Shang, the last king of the Shang dynasty in ancient China. She is portrayed as a malevolent fox spirit in legends as well as novels.
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