What timing. My body started hurting right after dinner when the sun just went down. I deliberately drank lots of alcohol at dinner to try and get myself drunk so as to relieve myself of some of the pain. But in the end, it was like all the alcohol vanished into a void and I was awake as if I was on stimulants.
Far out. Have I no choice but to put up with the pain?
I struggled to crawl into bed. Nier walked up to me with a rope and looked at me, then bowed and said: “Sorry, your majesty.”
I clenched my teeth and with my last ounce of sanity, stopped myself from getting up. I was feeling extremely irritated. I wanted to destroy everything around me, and kill every living thing around me. I think I’ll have a mental breakdown if I don’t tie myself up.
Nier tied me up tightly to the bed. My arms, legs and even neck were tied up. If I tried to lift my head up, I’d end up strangling myself. Nier is great at tying people up. After a few circles and knots, I could only move my head. Nier noticed I had a bunch of cloth in my hand. She hesitated for a moment before exiting.
The pain slowly began to spread throughout my body. The pain inside me which felt like it was going to explode and find a way to escape outside ravaged my insides. I wanted to be strong and not cry out, but after just five minutes, I couldn’t put up with it. I roared loudly and struggled with all my might to move my immobilised body. I knew that crying out was futile, but the energy I released through my cries relieved me of the pain somewhat.
I never thought I could cry and shout like this. As a matter of fact, I never thought a human being could cry out in such a way that all one’s hairs would stand up. It was so embarrassing for a guy to cry out like that. However, that was the only thing which could slightly relieve me of the pain.
My mind broke under the pain a lot quicker than I estimated. It was about an hour in, when a ray of light from the moon shone in under the hem of the curtain that I lost my conscious.
Everything I could feel afterwards was gloomy. The pain from my body vanished and turned into rage. I wanted to get up and destroy the world. I wanted to kill everyone. I wanted to destroy everything. None of this was meant to exist. Everything I don’t want should be destroyed, and all those who disobey me should be turned to ash.
However, the rope tied around my neck stopped my movements. I desperately tried to raise my head but the rope choked my neck which caused me to instinctively lie back down. I bled due to the friction of my body rubbing against the rope. The scent of blood further fuelled my madness. I could no longer tell if the groans I was making were that of a human or a wild beast.
Kill me! Kill me! Kill me! Kill me!!
This hurts… This hurts like hell… It hurts like hell… All the veins in my body expanded. My eyeballs were ready to pop out of my head. My nose was bleeding and my mouth was filled with the taste of blood. It seemed like my teeth themselves were bleeding. I desperately cried and wanted to escape the restriction of the rope. I wanted to kill. I wanted to rip everybody before me apart. I wanted to bath myself in blood. I wanted a world where only I existed!!!
The empress knelt before the door and pressed herself against it firmly. Her tears were running down her taut face. She grabbed the exquisite wooden door with her fingers so tightly she could’ve left marks on them. She bit down on her lips and the blood from her lips mixed with her tears coming from her eyes, and ran down onto her military clothing.
Nier stood at the end of the corridor with her hand firmly on her sword handle. The Valkyries had the outer court surrounded and everybody was forbidden from approaching it. Valkyries were patrolling every floor and all the servants were locked underground.
Alice gently rubbed the empress’s back and softly said: “Your majesty…”
“I… I… This hurts me so much…”
The empress was sitting on the floor. She grabbed her chest tightly with her right hand and pulled off the golden buttons on her clothing, and clenched them in her hand. Tears from her eyes didn’t cease for a moment. The empress who had lost her majestic and domineering aura a good while ago was in despair and pain, just like a girl who’d lost her beloved husband.
Alice quietly watched her empress, who was fearless before an army five times larger than her own was now at the door like a child.
“Your majesty, please pull yourself together…”
“Pull myself together… Pull myself together?! My son is suffering! My son is suffering because of my mistake! This… This… This pains me… If I could go back… I’d be willing to die in that forest if it meant I could keep my son company! He’s my only child!! He’s my only child!!”
She viciously grabbed Alice and tossed her aside. The empress looked to the heavens and shouted before lifelessly knelt on the ground. Nier had her back to them and didn’t turn around.
Alice stood up and wiped the blood off the corner of her mouth. She then silently knelt down and said: “Your majesty, if you become a mother, you will no longer be an empress.”
“You think I want to be an empress?! I don’t care if the previous emperor or my brother wants to take the crown, they can have my position! I don’t care even if the empire only stands on one city. The whole empire and the whole mainland mean can’t compare to my son! I just want to live with my son. I don’t care if that means that I have to be a commoner, or a wanderer! I’m happy as long as my son is safe! I’m willing to do anything as long as my son is happy! What’s the purpose of having everything that I currently have?! My son has to live in a canyon with those dirty and disgusting elves! He has to live with that bitch who not only stole my husband but even my son in order to live!!!”
The empress then stood up, flapped her sleeves, drew her sword and stabbed it into a wall by her side. The stone structure was but like cotton before the empress’s rage. The empress’s hair came undone and covered her violent eyes. She huffed and puffed, and then thundered: “I! I shouldn’t have retreated ten years ago! I should’ve captured that bitch! I should’ve slaughtered all the elves! Why… Why did I leave?! I shouldn’t have returned eighteen years ago! I shouldn’t have run away twenty years ago!! I… My son wouldn’t have to suffer like this if I wasn’t so stubborn… AAAAHHH!!!”
The empress angrily pulled her hair aside and bashed her head on the wall. Nier quickly turned around and tried to hold her back. But then she dexterously and skilfully stopped herself, turned around, drew her sword and shouted: “Enemy attack!”
The next second later, the reflection of a familiar face was seen on her blade. The empress stood up and looked at Luna, while Luna looked back at them silently.
The empress waved her hand and irritably said: “Get lost. I won’t repeat myself a second time. Now, get lost.”
“Your majesty! I…”
Nier’s sword nipped Luna but despite her bleeding from it, she didn’t back down. Instead she looked at the empress’s back and shouted: “Your humble servant… Your humble servant can help his majesty!”
“An elf like you has no business here!”
“It is precisely because your humble servant is an elf that your humble servant can help his majesty! His majesty will be alright if the berserk portion of his mana can be sucked out! Your humble servant can do that!!”
Luna pressed the sword pointed at her down and rushed over towards the empress as she shouted: “Your majesty! Your majesty, you should know that! Your majesty! His majesty will be fine if his mana can be sucked out! I can do it! I beg you! Please let me help him if you don’t want to see his majesty suffer! Please let me help him! I can do it!”**
Luna wasn’t afraid of the sword at all. She disregarded the sword before her and forced her way forward. The merciless Nier, however, was scared. She moved her sword and watched her vigilantly, but was unsure if she should strike or not. The empress behind her had her back facing towards them. Her silhouette was shaking like an elderly person.
The empress vigorously turned her head around and took big strides over. She grabbed Luna by her collar and dragged her to the door of the room. She violently kicked the door open and then tossed Luna inside. The empress then turned around to look at Nier and shouted: “Nier! Watch her! If she tries anything funny with the prince, take her head!”
“Thank you, your majesty!”
Luna picked herself up, turned around to see the silhouette where the screams were coming from, took in a deep breath and walked over.
*Luna referred to herself using the wrong version of “I”, relative to their hierarchal status
**Luna does switch from referring to herself as “Your humble servant” to “I” and informal speech towards the end of her dialogue there, most likely due to urgency, therefore dropping her formal tone
IMPORTANT: For the love of all that’s flipping holy, read my disqus comment in today’s chapter! If you don’t and find yourself lost or ask me a question about it, I’m going to ignore you.
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